It was all a Game, at the Beginning
by JoyceeLunaa
Summary: "We both played this game before, but something is different this time... Tell me Rory Flanagan, who are you exactly?" - Sebastian RoryxSebastian!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I've been willing to do a fanfic about Rory and Sebastian for a few days now, so I finally wrote one! I really hope there are more people who like this pairing!**

**Warning: This is pretty OOC, hopefully you'll give it a shot though!**

**Hope you like it!**

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My feet just dragged me around town.

I didn't know where I was going, nor did I really care.

Everything in my life was so, so boring.

Well, in America my life was dull at least. Back in Ireland I had my pals with whom I always got in a lot of trouble! Also, back home there were no stupid hockey players from school who would bully me about my accent or because I liked singing. There were no kids at my old school who'd throw slushies in my face!

I kicked at a small rock in front of my feet just because I was irritated.

Don't judge me, I love the people in the New Directions and all and I love to sing with them, but… there really are no more reasons to stay here, obviously.

With a small sigh I looked up to see where I was.

Some small, abandoned playground.

Should do it, I thought so I walked up to the old swings and placed myself on the first one.

I stared up at the beautiful blue sky, dozing off in the big view. I've always loved looking at the sky, the clouds, it just felt so… carefree.

But obviously, a nice moment like this would be ruined.

_I'm out of touch, I'm out of love_

_I'll pick you up when you're getting down_

I grabbed my phone out of the bag of my pants and looked at the screen to see who was calling me. Brittany, of course.

It was already 5 o'clock, the time they always eat dinner.

_I think I – _

I pressed the red button and put my phone away again. I did not feel like going to her house and act like the happy fellow I was supposed to be here.

My phone went off for another four good times, but I didn't pick up.

Whatever, I thought. I really wasn't in the mood to go and have to hang around with her. She was so… annoying.

Yes. I have tried getting in her pants, because Brittany is hot. No doubt about that. And yes I've made a little effort for that, but not much to be really honest. The girl thought I was a freaking leprechaun, I did not need to try my best.

But Brittany was clearly interested in Santana, so I stopped with what I was doing.

After that I found out that Artie was having a crush on Sugar, and that Sugar seemed to like him, but this Irish boy as well!

And I, Rory Flanagan, did not wanna miss the opportunity to play such a game!

Back in Ireland, believe it or not, I and my friends where pretty damn good in this sort of stuff. It was just fun to chase after girls and having some competition just made me wanna win more! And mostly I won.

And hey, even in America I won the game, fair and square.

Well, not fair, but Artie didn't play fair either.

I grinned at the thought.

If Sugar just knew that I wasn't interested in her at all. Hell I didn't even wanna get in her pants. Gross!

Sugar was not my type. Not at all, hell not even close!

My thoughts got interrupted when I heard a loud, noisy laugh from across the street.

I looked up and spotted the guy from whom the sound was.

His brown hair, his smile, the sound he had just made… but especially his eyes. His beautiful green eyes.

Yes, that's more like it, I thought as my eyes followed the guy and his friends down the street.

Hello, Sebastian Smythe.

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	2. Chapter 2

**I really wanna thank **2cool4uu800, LunaMoonMaan, Dark Murcielago, monkiimax 6, Lazycat5, Pfieffs and xAlecMagnusx **for the reviews, story alerts, author alert and story favorites! (:**

**That's so awesome! ;D**

**Here's chapter 2!**

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'Let's do the Gaga-song! That one will be so much cooler!'

'No! I wanna do Michael Jackson!'

'Guys!'

'Well, what about what I wanna do?'

'Guys!'

I really just wanted to smack myself in the face. Everyone in the New Directions, like everyone, was fighting over some kind of a song they wanted to perform for sectionals.

For me there was no point in trying to meddle in and say something I'd like to perform.

Together with the other "new ones" I did not get a lot of say in it.

Not that I minded, I really just tried to fade a little in the background here.

'Let's just- "

'NO! I don't want to sing a song about unicorns Brittany!' Rachel said with a little frustration sounding through her voice.

O, no, what have you done Rachel, I thought and quietly smacked my face with my bare hand as Santana jumped up from her seat and started screaming at Rachel for saying those words towards her girlfriend.

'Okay guys take it easy,' said Schuester as Finn and Puck tried to keep the two almost-fighting girls apart. 'Let's all look for some songs this week and perform them in front of each other. That's the assignment then.'

* * *

The last bell rang and I practically ran out of class. The guys from the hockey team had been throwing practically every object they could find towards me. Pencils, gum and one even throw a book!

Back in Ireland I wouldn't have run away, I would have punched them in the face, or I would have tried at least.

But I had made a promise, and I had to keep it. I would not have been here in America if it wasn't for that…

I opened my locker and angrily grabbed my books and stuff and forcefully threw them in my bag.

'What's wrong with you?' the sweet voice of Brittany asked.

I looked up and watched her walking towards my locker, her hips swinging o so smoothly, and leaning against the locker next to mine. Her big eyes stared at my face.

'Nothing,' I mumbled as I tried fit the last book in my shoulder bag, which did not want to fit in.

'Did they bully you again for your accent? Because then I have to tell you that sometimes no-one really understands a word you're saying but we all just nod because we feel bad for you.'

Astonished wasn't good enough to define how I felt when she carelessly said that.

This… these stupid, stupid, fucked up stupid comments that Brittany sometimes made really made me speechless.

I looked at her face, innocent eyes staring back into mine, a small sweet smile on her shiny face.

For some reason I just… could not think of something mean to say back, so I just sighed and shook my head.

'It's not about that.'

I brutally slammed my locked shut and walked past her.

'Rory? Where are you going? You're supposed to come home with me!'

'Whatever,' I said as I walked out of the school, the last thing I wanted was to put up smile right now.

* * *

I took another sip from my coffee, but it just didn't taste as good as it normally would.

Uuhg, I really just wanted to be home. Home sweet home.

Just a few months, and I'll be out of here, back in the hills of sweet, sweet Ireland.

'Well you look zoned out, beautiful.'

My head shot up and my eyes grew big as I saw Sebastian Smythe in front of me, one of his hands on his hips while the other one held a cup of coffee.

It took me one second to understand the situation, I really had been zoned out…

But this would probably make me feel better. After all, I loved this kind of games.

'None of your business,' I spoke softly and looked away from that nice face, I still had to act like the insecure and shy Rory Flanagan I played here in America.

'Please, do tell me,' the Warbler said and he placed his free hand on the other chair at my table.

Not that I really cared, but to keep my part up I looked around to see if there were any other members of New Directions in the café.

Sebastian grinned at me and sat down at the table.

'I can sit were I want and with who I want, your little friends won't scare me.'

'Well… what if I don't wanna sit at this table with you? You're from the enemy after all,' I said softly and looked down at my cup.

'That's mean! Maybe you should get to know me first, before saying something like that,' Sebastian said and from the corners from my eyes I saw that cocky grin on his face again.

I tried not to smile myself. He really doesn't know what he's getting himself into, ha!

'What do you want anyway?' I asked and looked up to see his face in total again.

'I want to get to know you some more.' That goddamn cocky smile, it made me wanna shiver.

I loved it…

I quietly took a sip from my coffee and put the empty cup on the table again. For a few seconds I kept staring at the cup.

Slowly I picked up my bag and stood up. I felt Sebastian's eyes fixed on me, but I couldn't care less if he was looking at me or not.

I started walking towards the door and Sebastian didn't say a word. Right now he probably felt as if his 'Plan' to intimidate me had worked. He was probably smiling at himself at this very instant.

When I walked past his chair, I turned around a little and bend over.

With my lips just inches away from his ear I whispered: 'Let's get to know each other some more then.'

And I walked away.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for reviews, favorites and alerts!^^**

**Took me long enough! But here's chapter 3 for you!**

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After fifteen minutes of apologizing towards mister and misses Pears for missing the dinner and not letting them know where I had been the whole afternoon and part of the evening I could finally drop down on the bed.

Brittany hadn't said a word to me since I came home. She's probably angry because I walked away without saying basically anything.

Not that I cared about that, I'm just saying my afternoon got really pleasant.

Though I was really wondering what Sebastian was thinking about the last thing I had whispered.

"_Let's get to know each other some more then."_

What is he planning on doing with those words? What will Sebastian Mythe be thinking about the double meaning of those words?

The fantasies that were playing inside of my head where making me dizzy, making me wanting it to be real so much more…

His small lips, his beautiful jawline, his nose, just every small detail of his face seemed to perfect.

His body, which seemed so small in that uniform, but would probably be pretty damn muscular.

If only those damn clothes wouldn't hide it from me…

My eyes where dancing around the room.

Those clothes would be gone from Sebastians body within fifteen minutes if we'd be alone in a room together.

* * *

'I swear you guys, that woman is the best one I ever had!' Puck enthusiastically said and every other guy at the table, except for Kurt, looked at him with open mouths.

'She looks… wow!' Sam said, his eyes staring way to intensively at the picture of a woman in bikini.

It was the owner of one of the houses of which Puck cleaned the pool. And knowing Puck as in being Puck he banged every mother that was looking… nice at least.

'I know right!' Puck yelled.

'Dude, you really have to tell me how you do that!' I said with astonished eyes and a voice in which you heard the jealousy.

'I will, I mean I have to help out you pathetic guys somehow right?' he said with a cocky voice and a disgusting grin on his face. Made me wanna throw up, really.

O Puckyboy, if you only knew how much more people I have "banged" then you, you would ask me to be your teacher.

I stood up, picked up my plate and walked to the trashcan to throw my rests in it. Then I slowly made my way to my locker, knowing that if I would hear one more word about that woman I'd really puke!

Wondering what kind of classes I was having next I opened my locker, finding a small note that rose up because of the wind and then slowly made its way to the ground.

Surprised by this I bend down and picked it up from the ground.

In a beautiful, small handwriting there was written:

"The dumpsters behind the basketball field from your school, after your lunch break. Don't take too long."

'Sweet!'

It took me five seconds to get out of my English class. I went to my teacher and told her I felt really, really sick.

She almost started complaining, but then I started acting if I was going to throw up.

Lucky me, being good in acting.

And now I was making my way to the dumpsters and I started wondering from whom that note could possibly be?

Most obviously to me it looked like it was from Sebastian. Who else? Every other person I knew could just ask me personally in the hallways, no need for a note.

'Time to find out then,' I mumbled to myself when I turned around the corner where the dumpsters stood.

'Finally, how much longer could you possibly take?'

His voice. Damn, just… damn.

'W- What are you d-doing here?' I almost screamed.

God, you've gotta be kidding me…

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**So this chapter is a little bit shorter, so I promise I´ll update the next one sooner!**

**Please tell me what you thought of this chapter, with the cliffhanger ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 is up! I'm really sorry for not updating fast…**

**Uhm… there's a lot of cursing in this one, just FYI :P**

**Well here you go!:**

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'W- What are you d-doing here?'

My heart started beating way faster than it should, my hands became sweaty en my knees started shaking.

'Is that really how you're gonna greet me after such a long time? You, my friend, are the worst-'

'SHUT UP!' I frankly screamed at him.

I didn't want him to say that word, ever again.

'Don't be so rude on me,' his melodious voice whispered, and it sounded really close.

I took one step back while I kept my eyes on my own feet.

'What are you doing here, Matthew?' I asked softly and annoyingly it sounded really desperate that way. Fuck.

'Aaah did you miss me?' Matthew asked me and I looked up with furious eyes.

'Fuck off, man!'

He grinned and at me.

Damn, he stilled looked so… good…

His wild black hair still looked like he never brushed it, his skin looked as smooth as it always had and those goddamn light green eyes shined the way the always shined when Matthew looked at him.

And that fucking long, slim, body of his, which was so freaking nice without those clothes…

CONCENTRATE RORY, I mentally yelled at myself, don't let him distract you!

'What if I say that I missed you?'

I looked away and didn't respond to that. He always used these tricks.

'And what if I say that I mean it?'

Too bad, fellow, you can't play me like that. Ha!

'That's my reason, Rory.'

'Yeah… sure,' I mumbled. His personality hasn't changed either.

'I wanted to see-' You know what? Let me play a little too, I thought.

'Yeah, about that reason,' I grinned at him. 'I'm pretty busy here. Doing my "thing", if you know what I mean?'

I blinked at him and put my hands in my pockets, relaxing my body language.

Funny thing was, Matthew really seemed to be stunned by what I just said. Probably because my attitude changed that quickly.

If you're good, you're good, right?

'Sad to hear that,' said Matthew with a bully-like smile.

'Yeah, you know how good I am,' I said with a cocky smile and I let my eyebrows bounce up and down once.

'Hell yes I know that!' Matthews eyes got a little smaller for a second, but then they changed back.

'So if you'll excuse me, I've got other-'

Matthew raised his hand towards me, asking me to stop talking.

So I shut up and listened.

'Maybe we could, you know, do that "thing" of yours together? You know I'm pretty good myself,' he looked at me with a cute smile.

'Ha! Keep dreaming pretty boy,' I said and walked away.

* * *

That fucking retard! What the fuck is he thinking? I'm gonna fucking-

'You look like you need this, so it's on me.'

'Can't you just leave me the fuck alone? I swear- oh…,' My cheeks turned red in an instant when I saw it wasn't Matthew how gave me a cup of coffee.

'Well, I can just take it with me and _leave you the fuck alone_, that's cool too,' Sebastian said while chucking a little.

'I thought you were someone else,' I muttered.

Without asking, Sebastian joined me at the table.

His eyes were fixed on my face and for just a few seconds it actually bothered me, then I recalled that I had started this game the previous time.

'I'm curious, who did you think I was?' Sebastian asked me and put his hands under his chin, making him look so… naïve and cute.

'Ah, nobody,' I said and took a long sip from my coffee.

'Heh, yeah those "nobody's" are really annoying, huh?' the guy in front of me said with a grin which made clear he understood the nobody part.

I nodded and played a little with my coffee.

'Yeah, I guess you just have to clean up after making a mess huh,' Sebastian went on, taking a sip from his own cup as well.

'Very true. One mistake and you're doomed for life it seems,' I grimaced and looked out of the window.

'That's why I clean up.' My eyes slowly made their way towards his.

His shined and sparkled in excitement, knowing he was winning today.

Well, fuck it, I wasn't in the mood to really play today. And he knew what I was talking about, so I figured one normal conversation wasn't that bad.

'And apparently I don't,' I said with a low voice, locking my eyes with his.

'I can teach you, show you.'

'Maybe you should.'

'Maybe I should, yeah.'

'Yeah...'

Sebastian stood up and grabbed his half empty cup.

'See you around, Irish.'

'Just tell me when and where.'

He looked at me seriously for a few seconds, then smiled that cocky smile of his and blinked at me before he walked away.

And by the way of his walk I could tell he knew he had won this time.

'Hmmmmpff!'

I lay down my head on the table, sighing deeply.

Boys…

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	5. Chapter 5

**I wanna thank everyone who followed / favorited my story :D**

**Sadly no reviews**

**Here's the next chapter for you guys!**

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The rest of the week I had focused some more on my schoolwork and on the songs we could possibly do in the gleeclub.

But after one night of going through one of the playlists on my iPod I realized that none of the songs I would choose would be picked out anyway, so I gave up on that.

It was Thursday night and out of boredom I was walking around town.

It had been eight days since I had last seen Sebastian. Just because he had won the last time, that boy felt like he could let me wait forever. Like I would run around after him like a lovesick puppy the moment he would show up again.

He'd better be a litter quicker or I'd lose interest.

Matthew on the other hand, should tumble over a rock, roll of a cliff, fall on a driveway and get hit by a few cars before he'd spontaneously got struck by lightning. With somebody videotaping the whole thing, of course.

That lame-ass fucker had been putting little notes inside my locker all week and I swore that I had seen him standing in front of the school once…

That dude really needed to mind his own business!

I walked past a small bar of which the big neon letters above the door really welcomed me in.

Inside I heard some nice music, people laugh, talk en sing.

'Yeah yeah yeah! Just let me get some fresh air will ya?'

I looked back over my shoulder when I heard his voice. This town was so small…

His brown hair was a bit messy, which told me that he had been dancing for a while in there.

I couldn't help but felt a small grin crawling onto my face.

And It just grew bigger when I saw his eyebrows rise from surprise when he saw this Irish fellow standing just a few feet away.

'I always ran into you, one would almost call it destiny,' Sebastian Smythe said with a cocky grin appearing on his face.

'You are just always looking for me,' I played and then gave him a blink and nodding my head towards the left, giving him the small hint to walk with me.

'Your ego is way too big, has anyone ever told you that?' Sebastian said when we started walking.

'Mine? Haven't you looked in the mirror lately?'

I looked at my feet while we walked, my hands buried inside the pockets of my dark hoodie.

'Yeah, I look rather good don't you agree?'

'Don't make me puke, Warbler.'

Sebastian laughed. Wow. Just wow. From the corners of my eye I looked as he laughed, which made him really, really handsome!

My eyes wandered away from his face and I let them flow over his body, picturing it without that white shirt, without those dark pants…

'I can see you want to puke!' the boy loudly said. 'You can't even get your eyes of my-'

'What are you thinking man? I was just admiring that pants! You dirty, naughty boy!' I yelled back at him and we stopped and looked at each other for a second.

What a wonderful smile that was one his face…

'I…,' Sebastian started but we both burst into a loud laughter.

I really couldn't stop laughing for a while as couldn't Sebastian.

He actually started tearing up because of the laughing and I had to put my hand on his shoulder for some support!

'You, Rory Flanagan, are one crazy piece of ass!'

I couldn't help but smile.

* * *

'Rory, what have you got?'

Oops…

I really didn't think they'd ask the new members for a song…

'Well, I didn't really find a song, but-'

'Mister Schue, with all do respect but this is why we should choose the songs! I mean- ' and Rachel kept on talking and talking and talking…

Please, someone! Give me duct tape to shut that pie hole!

I could almost see myself get up and kick her of that chair, earning a big applause from everyone else in this room. Except for Finn, who'd say stuff like "Dude that's my girlfriend!" But in secret would be grateful.

'So let me sing the song I'd choose!'

Aaaaaand there she goes again.

I saw how Santana, who sat on my left, rolled with her eyes and put her arm over one another showing how glad she was to see and hear this, again.

_Bzz_! _Bzz_!

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and put in my right hand, since there was no one sitting next to me at that side.

Easy for texting of course!

From: Sebastian

Hey Irish ;)

In the mood for some more walking later?

Xxx Still looking good in the mirror

O god, why did he text me that last part?

Without looking I texted back: "Sure, when?" And pressed the send button.

In the meanwhile I had to sit through Rachel singing… whatever she was singing while making those painful face expressions.

_Bzz_! _Bzz_!

From: Sebastian

How about I pick you up after school?

Xxx

To: Sebastian

I'm done at three.

From: Sebastian

Not afraid of your little friends seeing me?

Xxx

To: Sebastian

They are not my friends. They're clubmembers.

And that's how we kept texting until the glee club meeting was over. I shouldn't have given him my number yesterday… even though it was funny to text him.

'Hey Rachel!' I yelled and clumsy ran towards her through the crowded hallways.

Berry turned around and waited for me with a surprised look on her face.

'What is it, Rory? If you want me to help you with picking songs then I'd love to but-'

I quickly shook my head.

'No, no, no! I just wanted to tell you that I thought your singing was fantastic,' I said and put up a nice, small smile on my face.

'Oh! Well thanks, but I already know how good I am,' she began and I let her ramble on for a few minutes, just nodding and saying 'Yeah' a lot.

This was really to keep my innocent act up for the time being, and having "Friends" who could help me out if I was in trouble would probably get in handy since Matthew was around here as well.

* * *

Finally!School's out for today!

I basically ran to my locker, opening it way to fast so some books fell out, as well as a lot of pieces of paper.

Like a bunch of paper… o no he wouldn't have, would he?

Brittany walked by my locker as I bend over to pick up the papers and look.

And I was right… they were from Matthew, obviously.

All this crap written on them, lovely notes, bully like notes. Fucking loser.

'Just get lost,' I mumbled under my breath as my housemate sat down on the floor next to me and helped me picking up the shit.

'Thanks Brittany,' I said and forced a smile on my face, even though my mood was completely ruined by this.

'You're welcome!' Brittany smiled and turned around to walk away.

So I put the papers in my bag and closed my locker, when I felt some small hands tapping me on my shoulder.

'Yes?' I asked the blond beauty as I turned around with my eyebrows raised.

'I wanted to ask you if you would like to hang out with me tomorrow? Do something funny! Since we're living together I figured you're like sort of family and I just wanted to spend some time together because of that,' she started bragging.

My mouth dropped open a little, astonished about the fact that such a fragile girl could ramble so much in not even a minute.

But seeing that small, shy smile on her face really touched me.

'Yeah, sure, sounds like fun!' I said, wondering where I was getting myself into.

'Cool!' and she walked off.

Crazy girl. But she made me smile a little again.

I quickly shook my head and started walking towards the doors, on my way to Sebastian!

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	6. Chapter 6

**Faster update! Proud of myself haha!**

**Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts and favorites guys! (: makes me write faster!**

**Well, I don't have to tell you there will once again be quite some cursing in this chapter, do I ?**

**Also, I don't really know how old Sebastian is, so I just made him 17 ;)**

**There will be smut and stuff in this one!**

**Here's the sixth chapter!:**

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It had taken me at least fifteen minutes to ditch Rachel who was trying to lecture me about some famous musical singer, to get past Mr. Schuester without him noticing me and asking me to help him out with some kind of douchebag thing for school and to run away from Santana who would be willing to do literally anything just to find out what I had been talking about with Brittany.

For god's sake, I lived with that girl! Uuhg, Santana was so suspicious when it came to her girlfriend.

She always looked at me with a piercing look in her eyes, just because I _tried_,NOT did, no _tried _to get in her at-that-moment-not-yet girlfriend's pants.  
Give me break, will ya?!

'Took you long enough, don't you think Irish?' that voice just gave me chills.

His slender body was placed against a tree, making it seem that Sebastian was rather comfortable.

'Yeah, you try sneaking past them while being the "Nice boy who'll always say yes and help out" ,' I answered him irritated.

Sebastian got a smirk on his face, which I would scratch of with pleasure.

'C'mon.'

I walked past him, worrying a little about the fact that we were so close to my school.

No matter how much I enjoyed doing what I was doing, or going to do, with this guy, I still didn't want my cover to blow up.

'Sure,' Sebastian said, understanding that I wanted to get out of here.

For ten minutes we kept walking next to each other without one word being said.

Not that I minded, my mind was busy being frustrated.

I mean, that fucking retard had to ruin my day… everything was going so great today!

Like, texting with Sebastian was fun, a move I did not try much while playing my game. And the part where I was going to spend the rest of this day with Sebastian made me look forward towards the end of school, since I for once did not have to go home and sit around, or walk around town lonely and bored. No, this day I had something to do! Something fucking nice!

And then I found those fucking notes in my fucking locker from that fucking fucker Matthew and BAM my mood was ruined. Then those retards from school held me up and-

'Not to be a bother, but I asked you for a walk… So wouldn't it be better if you'd follow me?' Sebastian asked, breaking up my spinning thoughts.

He caught me off guard for a few seconds, so I shook my head and stopped walking.

'Yeah,' I slowly said, looking at the ground. 'Yeah… you're right.'

'Let's go then!' Sebastian carelessly went on walking, not bothering what I had been thinking.

Great Rory, now you're letting him lead the game!, I mentally yelled at myself, pull yourself together!

I smacked myself on my cheek and quickly made my way towards the other person, walking next to him once again.

'So, where are we going?' I asked curiously.

'It's not fun if I'll tell you,' Sebastian said with one finger against his lips.

My eyebrows danced a little, showing him that he was annoying me and in return I received a blink.

That should promise me a nice day!

It didn't take too long to arrive where we had been walking to.

It was a small house, just outside of the city. It looked nice, but… lonely, if you asked me.

'Welcome, to my own small place,' Sebastian grinned at me and let his beautiful eyebrows bounce up and down once, promising.

I smiled a small smile at him, acting if I didn't know what he wanted to do.

The Warbler opened the door and held it open for me as a gentleman would. With a nod of my head I thanked him and walked in.

The hallways was ordinary, like every other one, but the living room… wow!

There was a fireplace in it, some very expensive looking carpets, a big TV, a small, wooden table in front of the couch and some big, big paintings hanging on the walls.

I let my hand run over the fabrics of the couch, which felt extremely comfortable and soft. That feeling made me wanna lay down at this very instant.

The colors in the room were basically a gray-black like color, some white and Bordeaux red.

'Come on, you have seen nothing yet,' Sebastian whispered in my ear, took my hand and led me to kitchen, which was at the other side of the hallway.

'O my god,' I surprisingly said, my eyes grew bigger as we walked inside the room.

Everything was white or golden.

And so clean!

It really was just like you'd see on TV.

'Good, isn't it?' Mythe said with a pleasurable smile stuck on his face and I couldn't help but only nod.

Sebastian made a few dance moves around the room and laughed at me, showing his sparkling white teeth.

'But this is not why what we're here for,' he smiled at me.

My face stayed emotionless as I looked at him, not letting my eyes unlock from his.

'C'mon on, I'll show you the best part,' Sebastian let his hand slip through mine, grabbing it softly and dragging me after him.

I just acted like I was astonished, which I was to be honest. About the house, not his way of trying to get me in his bed.

Sebastian took me upstairs, in to the first door on the left, showing me a nice room.

It wasn't very huge, but it definitely wasn't small either!

In it was a huge double bed with beautiful, dark sheets with dark pillows.

There was a big mirror on the right side of the room, next to a very large closet. On the nightstands were a few candles places. How romantic, haha!

'What do think of it?' Sebastian asked, letting go of my hand as he sat down on the bed.

He gave me a look, asking me to come close and sit next to him.

Aahw, how sweet, he really believed he was better in this than me!

'It's really pretty,' I started, pulling of my shoulder bag and dropping it on the ground.

Sebastian's eyes were fixed on me, as his smile started to fade with every word I said.

'I like the candles, really sweet.' I let my jacket slide through my fingers and dropped on the floor.

'That bed is quite the space to use, with a wonderful sheet on it,' I spoke as I unbuttoned a few of the buttons on my long-sleeved, white shirt, showing Sebastian some more of my skin.

I stood in front of him, with no emotion to read on my face.

But in his eyes I could read everything, the lust he felt now that I stood before him, the excitement as well as the fear of me leading the game.

'But you know what, Sebastian?' I asked as I placed myself on top of him with my legs placed next to his and my hands placed of his shoulders.

I watched as he nervously swallowed.

I bend forward a little, so my mouth was close to his. A grin spread on my face.

'A mattress on the ground would have made no difference.'

With my hand I pulled his face towards mine and kissed him on the lips as I closed my eyes.

It took the other boy a moment to relax and then he kissed me back.

His hands were placed on my lower back, telling me he was unsure of the situation right now.

Hah! He knew I was leading this event.

I pushed him down on the bed, placing myself fully onto him and let my hands slip underneath his shirt.

Oh lord, I sure had missed the feeling of hot skin underneath my fingertips. It felt so good.

I let one of my hands run over his belly and let the other one make a mess of Sebastian's hair.

Slowly the other guy started to move his own hands over my body and pushed me back up a little to unbutton the rest of my shirt.

Our lips got disconnected for a split second as I pulled my shirt off and threw it across the room.

Sebastian reached out his head to reattach our lips again.

I kissed him back roughly, biting onto his bottom lip and asking him to open his mouth some more.

Sebastian willingly opened his mouth and our tongues mingled up wildly.

In the meanwhile I professionally kicked out my all-stars and rolled us over, placing the older boy on top of me.

This seemed to be a well-known place in Sebastian's life, as he let his hands run all over my bare chest.

I slipped my hands underneath the boy's own shirt and pulled back for a second to take it off.

It was in the way, after all.

As I threw the shirt out of my hands, I saw Sebastian's eyes shining down on me.

I grinned as I grabbed his face and pulled it close enough to kiss it hardly, something he didn't seem to mind as I felt him smiling as well.

Sweet!

I wrapped my legs around his, rubbing my foot against his and continued exploring the newly exposed skin above me.

His slender, yet so muscular build chest made me shiver underneath. His hot skin made me hard.

And to let him know I turned us around again, laying on top of him once again. Our mouths still connected I pressed my body onto his, letting him feel what I wanted.

Sebastian gasped a little, making me grin again as I pulled away from his mouth. He opened his eyes in surprise, wondering why my lips left his.

I let one of my hands slip down towards the big bump in his pants and rubbed a little roughly, making him gasp a bit louder.

A huge smile revealed onto the guys face and his eyes light up.

Satisfied with that reaction I rolled away from his hot body and made sure to get Sebastian's pants and underwear of. I placed one of my hands on his bare chest and leaned in to kiss him again, as I felt a finger on my lips. What the?

Sebastian pushed down on my back and let his hands run over my chest, slowly downwards my own jeans.

He removed them just as quickly as I had done with his, which reminded me that we still played the same game.

Fuck it, I thought as I let my eyes wander over Sebastian's body, let him play some cards too.

Sebastian placed his muscular body on top of mine, and the touch of our bare, hot skins touching everywhere made me shiver and I let a small moan escape, exciting my contestant as well.

Sebastian smiled with a playerlike look in his eyes.

He kissed me right next to my mouth, making me want to get one on them! Yet he didn't.

The Warbler started making his way down my jaw, my neck onto my chest.

His sensitive hands were stroking my thighs as his mouth went down my belly.

Hmmm, this felt really, really good…

Sebastian looked up for a split second and grinned, telling me with his eyes that my cock was next to come.

And no matter how great that would be and how desperately I wanted that right know, I wouldn't let him win.

So I grabbed Sebastian at his shoulders and easily turned him over on his back. I turned around and kissed him upside down, stroking his chest.

I had turned my body around in a few seconds and had his legs lifted and placed over my shoulders.

Placing some kisses in his neck and rubbing his body roughly I placed myself nicely in front of him.

Not really caring about the guy underneath me I got inside of him, earning a load moan, pleasure mixed with a little wince.

As I waited for him to adjust I kissed his lips and let my tongue slip into his mouth.

When I felt him nod I started thrusting in and out of him.

Our lips disconnected. We panted, we moaned and groaned.

Deeper... Faster… Harder… were the words Sebastian said over and over again and I did, if he wanted it or not.

The moans got louder, the groans got wilder.

'Oh… Ahh… Aaahh.. Aaaahhhhh!' Sebastian screamed as he came over his own stomach, the same the I came inside of him and moaned just as loud.

I pulled out of him and dropped next to him on the bed.

In silence we panted.

Sebastian knew I had won the game. I had done something no boy had ever done to him, I knew that.

And therefore he could not tell me to get out.

A smirk turned up on my face for a few seconds, but left easily again.

Still panting I looked to the face next to mine, who was looking at me as well.

I looked into those gorgeously green eyes and with a dirty smile I asked: 'Ready for the next round?'

* * *

**So? What did you think? Reviews are welcome! :D**

**'till next chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you so much for your reviews! It means a lot! :D  
That's why I'm updating so fast now, haha  
if you wonder why you got 2 mails about this new chapter, it's because I put it up and took it off again, finding some really annoying gramarfaults :S **

**Here's the next chapter for you!:**

* * *

Curiously I turned the page.

My eyes were flying over the paper, taking every word up in my brain.

'Interesting,' I mumbled softly as I stretched out my legs on the couch.

Behind me I heard silent footsteps and a door open and close.

Silence.

And some more footsteps before the door behind me was opened.

'You're really reading that book?' Sebastians sweet voice asked me, sounding surprised by my choice of books.

'Yes, it's nice,' I spoke, not fixing my attention entirely on the boy who stood behind me.

'I used to fall asleep reading that thing,' Sebastian said as he placed himself in the chair next to the couch.

'Strange,' I almost yawned, not interested in anything he said.

I couldn't get my eyes of the book, it just hit me like that.

And Sebastian didn't seem to care, he'd pleasure himself by just watching me curiously, as he had been doing all morning.

For some reason I liked to spend my saterday morning like this, in the home of practically stranger who didn't mind if I was social or not.

As I turned the page again, my phone started buzzing.

_I'm out of touch, I'm out of love_

_I'll pick you up when you're getting down_

I got it out of my pocket and looked at the screen, Brittany.

'Shit,' I said as I quickly answered it.

'He Brittany!' my voice sounded happy and carefree.

'Rory? Where have you been this night? We were really worried!' Brittany shouted and it sounded as if she would cry any minute. O god…

'I went out with some friends and stayed the night, remember? I told you by my locker yesterday,' I lied.

It stayed silent for a few seconds.

'I don't remember that,' she softly spoke.

'O… but it's true, though. Maybe you forgot because you were looking so forward to your date with Santana?' I suggested, playing it smartly.

'Yeah, I suppose… o my gosh now I'm so sorry!' Brittany cried.

'No, don't be! It wasn't your fault! Now tell me, how was the date?' I tried to get her to forget it, the last thing I wanted was a crying girl on my phone.

Luckily for me, Brittany started telling me all about this date.

In the meantime I sat up straight and looked at Sebastian, who's hair was still wet from the shower he had just taken.

Damn, that looked sexy…

He wasn't wearing his shirt yet, so I took the opportunity to check out his chest again.

It made me feel a little bit weird, knowing what I had done with all that skin, that whole body, the past night and how many times I had done something to it…

'But anyway, do still wanna hang out today or won't you make it?'

Damn, normally I didn't have such a feeling 'cause I wouldn't see that body the morning afterwards…

'Wait? Oh, yeah sure! I'll be home soon, so you think about what we'll be doing then,' I said and shook my head slightly.

Never, ever, tell Brittany to organize something. You were just asking for trouble.

'Cool! See you later then!'

'Bye.' I hung up and tossed my phone on the table before I grabbed the book again.

I felt his eyes burning on me now, but if he wouldn't say something than neither would I.

So we kept it silent for a few minutes.

'What are you gonna do later?' Sebastian asked with a deeper tone in his voice.

'Brittany wants to chill with me,' I said, wondering why he wondered.

'Don't you live with her?'

'Yeah.'

'So why the bother of asking you to hang out?' Was he acting jealous now?

I checked the page number before I closed the book and put it away.

'She just asked me,' I said and locked my clear, light blue eyes with his green ones.

'Well, what are you two planning on doing then?'

That look in his eyes said it all. He wasn't jealous in the slightest.

'Crazy idiotic stuff,' I spoke and let my eyes watch closely to Sebastian's body language, what was it telling me?

'And how late exactly?' His body didn't say a word, but his eyes did, they told me one thing.

Lust.

'I've got some time until I have to go,' I said with a dark smirk on my face and just to make it clearer I let my eyes check out his body slowly before I looked back at his eyes again.

'Great,' Sebastian said with that cocky smile of his. 'It's time for round fourteen then.'

He stood up and walked towards me.

'Bring it to me, big boy,' I said in a husky tone as Sebastian bend over and kissed me passionately.

* * *

Still yawning I opened the front door of the Pears' house.

It was around four in the afternoon and I hoped Brittany wasn't to upset about me being home just now.

At first, her parents came to me, asking me where I had been and therefore I told them the same lie I had told Brittany and that she had forgotten to tell them that I wouldn't sleep here last night.

They seemed to take it in cool and told me it was fine.

The parents also told me that meself and Brittany would cook for ourselves tonight, since they'd be going out.

'No problem at all,' I smiled at them. 'I'll go let Brittany know I am home.'

'Have a nice evening, you two,' the mom told me as they made their way out of the house.

So I made my way up the stairs and walked into the blond girl her room.

I found her sitting in front of her mirror, wearing some comfy sport pants and a dark sweater. Barely any make-up and her long, curly hair hang around her face and shoulders.

She looked really pretty.

'O, hey Leprechaun!' she smiled at me and waved at my reflection in the mirror.

I smiled as she said my nickname, everyone seemed to give me a crazy nickname around here.

'Hello there!' I placed myself on the bed and told her about this "fun night" I had been through. Then Brittany told me some crazyass story about what her cat had done today and about some unicorn she had dreamed of.

'You dream really weird, hasn't anyone ever told you that?' I asked with a huge grin and a surprised look in my eyes.

Brittany shook her head and smiled innocently at me.

'So, what's the planning for tonight?' I asked, honestly curious and actually in the mood to have a fun evening with her.

'First, let's cook ourselves something to eat, and then we could watch a movie with some popcorn?' The beautiful blonde said with a golden smile on her face.

'Sounds great!' I said loudly. 'I'm just gonna change my clothes, you start already.'

Brittany nodded and we walked out her room.

It took me about two minutes to get out of my dirty clothes and to put on a gray sweat pants, my Elvis Presley fan shirt and to fix the mess which I was supposed to call my hair.

'Whatever,' I said as I looked into the mirror.

In a fast speed I ran down the stairs and walked into the kitchen.

'So, what do-' A towel got thrown in my face as my housemade's sweet voice sounded: 'You take care of the sandwiches and I'll serve the soup, okay?'

I nodded in astonishment, but didn't say anything as I walked towards the freezer.

Brittany turned on the radio and while singing and dancing we were making our food.

The eating started of decent, but turned into one big fight when Brittany poured a spoon full of half warm soup over my head.

'AAAAH! What the fuck?' I screamed as the substance ran down my neck. 'Oh, you're gonna pay for that!'

And with that a big soup-pouring, sandwich-throwing fight had begun!

After fifteen minutes we had made a mess of the first sparkling white kitchen.

'Your mom is gonna be so pissed,' I said with big eyes as I looked around.

'Don't bother, the fairies will clean it up!' Brittany said giggling as she put some popcorn in the microwave and then took me to the living room.

Splashes of soup dropped from our hair to the ground as Brittany gave me a DVD and then returned to the kitchen.

'Buffy the vampire slayer? Really?' I asked myself out loud, shrugged my shoulders and put it on.

Brittany came back with a big bowl full of popcorn and we sat down on the couch.

'I love this show, Buffy is so tough! And she's smoking hot!' the blonde told me with a huge grin when the DVD started playing.

'Yeah, that's true,' I answered as I put a handful of popcorn in my mouth.

We successfully watched two episodes without losing focus on the screen, but in the middle of the third I started to throw the last pieces of popcorn in Brittany's face, starting yet another foodfight.

Taking enough small pieces I ran towards the other end of the room and started throwing from a little distance.

Too bad Brittany seemed to be far better at this then I was, so I got hit the most.

And once when our supplies were as good as nothing, we headed upstairs, leaving the mess for what it was.

'They're so going to kick me out of the house tomorrow,' I said giggly and Brittany just laughed and waved with her hand, waving my words away.

'Noooo! They will go straight to bed when they get home, so we just have to clean it up real early! Like reaaaaal early!' Brittany said. 'So at five A.M. you'll have to be downstairs tomorrow!'

'So early?' I nagged.

'Yes!'

'Hm… well I guess that was worth it though,' I smiled at her. 'Sleep well, Brittany.'

'You too, magical Leprechaun!'

I walked to my room and pulled out my once again dirty clothes and put them on top of the pillar of my other clothes.

I dropped down on the bed, ready to fall asleep as I saw my phone laying on my nightstand, realizing it had laid there for the whole night.

For no reason really I picked it up and looked on it. One new message.

From: Sebastian

Hey there handsome,

Ready to continue tomorrow or are you done already? ;)

Xxx I'm waiting.

Hah, he really had a cocky attitude!

I texted a reply very fast and put my phone back where it had been laying all night.

This weekend seemed to be the best one since I had been in America so far!

* * *

**I just wanted a happier chapter, hope you liked it!**

**Reviews are always welcome! (:**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for the reviews once again! :)**

**So I decided to speed the stuff up a little, hope you don't mind ;)**

**Here's the next chapter:**

* * *

Slowly it dropped onto the ground.

And it just stayed there like that, sparkling in the sunlight.

I looked at it with jealousy, wishing I could have an easy life like that, but that seemed for too much to ask.

'I can feel your eyes staring, you know,' I informed the other boy and turned my head a little towards him.

Sebastian sat up straight in the bed and waved a hand through his hair.

I placed my head against the window again and sighed in silent as I saw the snowflakes falling down.

Christmas was two weeks away.

'I was thinking about you,' Sebastian said. 'Why your body is that far away from mine. Instead of looking at some boring view, we could do something more… pleasant?'

My eyes wondered back at the subtle guy a few feet away from me and without answering I looked back at the snow.

It had been around three weeks since we had first fucked and ever since we just did it occasionally… well to be true, we fucked as fast as one asked the other.

We had this sort of no boundaries commitment going on, which I preferred.

The game was still on, me having won one hundred and twenty-four times and Sebastian having won around forty-five times.

I was just so much better at seducing him, or getting to lead our game even if he started it.

'C'mon, don't tell me you've had enough of me all of a sudden?' Sebastian sounded surprised, but he really just wanted to hear me saying no.

Another deep sigh.

'Damn! Now I'm hurt!' he started whining, but when I looked at his face from the corners of my eyes I saw him grinning at me.

'Make it up to me?' Sebastian tried, but when I still didn't say a thing I heard the sheets being moved.

Soft footsteps of which I had become knowledge with the sound of them.

Then I felt his arms around my shirtless waist and his head placed on my shoulder. His naked chest against my back. The warmth coming from it felt nice.

'What's wrong?' Smythe whispered in my ear. 'You can tell me.'

I turned my head slightly, feeling his hot breath against my cheek.

'You can trust me,' he spoke softly as he kissed my shoulder sweetly. He pressed himself a little tighter against me.

'Rely on me, if you want to.'

I swung around and wrapped my arms around Sebastian's neck, pressing my lips hard against his.

He opened his mouth and I slipped my tongue in it.

I pulled him even closer to me, feeling desperate.

A little clumsy I pushed him onto the bed and mingled my legs with his.

Sebastian rolled us over and softly pushed me a little bit away from him. Confused I opened my eyes, looking into his.

'What's wrong?' he asked me again, with a curious look in his eyes.

'Don't talk,' I said as I pulled him in for another kiss. Sebastian listened and kissed me back with quite some force.

He pressed himself on me, stroked through my hair and touched my cheek softly.

As Sebastian started kissing my neck and slowly made his way down my chest, my stomach I felt a desperate feeling of needing this.

I wanted him to kiss me, to touch me, to drive me insane.

I wanted him to help me forget it. Now.

Sebastian had undone me from my boxers and a soft moan escaped my mouth as he gave my erection a small lick.

He let his finger slide up and down its length, teasing me to no end. But it felt really, really good…

Stop this, I thought as Sebastian kept on going, just… take me…

I laid back my head on the soft sheets as I spread my legs for him. I felt the surprise in Sebastian's touch as I did that, but without any word he put my legs over his shoulders and placed himself in a good angle.

I whined a little as he entered inside of me, which made him stay still.

'Hurry,' was all I said, but Sebastian obeyed me and started thrusting in and out of me, slowly at first but going faster and faster after every thrust.

Going harder, going deeper.

He was pulling off my cock on the same rhythm as his thrust, which was something new.

I tried to held myself back, but one loud moan escaped.

Whatever, I thought and I just let it out.

Sebastian panted.

I panted, groaned and moaned.

It sounded desperate, needy, but I couldn't care less.

My hands had grabbed tightly into the sheets.

'Ohhww… Oooohhw… Aahhh… Ah, ah, aaaaaaahh… AAAAHHH!' I moaned really needy as I came as I felt Sebastian coming inside of me too.

* * *

His touch was comforting for some reason.

I didn't quite understand why, but it just was. Not that I cared why.

As long as he just kept on stroking my cheek, I didn't mind.

Sebastian held my cheek in his hand, softly stroking it with his thumb.

'You're… a closed person, do you know that?' he quietly asked me, not waiting for a reply.

I just stared at the ceiling. I hadn't said a word for at least two hours, of which Sebastian had slept at least one.

'What's going on in that mind of yours today?' the beautiful boy next to me wondered.

You don't wanna know, my thoughts answered him.

'It felt so… different.'

That's because it was, you moron.

'With you, it all feels so different from normal.'

His eyes showed an emotion I had never seen on his face before, but I didn't wanna look in them and confirm what I thought it was…

'You…'

Shut up…

´We both played this game before, but something is different this time... Tell me Rory Flanagan, who are you exactly?'

I turned my head a little and looked into his eyes.

He cared… He cared about me, it showed, it showed so fucking good.

Fuck! Fuck! Fucking fucker!

Tears welled up in my eyes and before I even had the chance to control them they walked down my cheeks.

Sebastian sat up and looked at me with shocked eyes.

'What's wrong? Why are you crying?' he asked worried, which made me cry even harder.

I threw the blankets of my body and sat up straight on the edge of bed.

Running out of this room was all I wanted, even though I only wore my boxers.

But for some reason I just couldn't move.

I knew in the back of my head that I just wanted to stay… stay with him…

'I…,' I mumbled with a voice which made clear I was crying, but I couldn't say anything else.

My hands covered my eyes as I started sobbing.

Sebastian's hands grabbed me by my arms and he pressed his forehead between my shoulders.

'Come here,' he whispered silently and tried to make me turn around.

I shook him off me.

Leave me alone! Get away from me! Don't care about me! You're fucking everything up! I wanted to scream at him, but I couldn't find the strength in my body to do so.

Sebastian backed off from me, but still stayed and quietly sat behind me.

My sobs became louder, my tears seemed to increase.

My throat was burning and a pain filled in my chest.

Screams formed and rolled over my lips in between my sobs.

Painful screams, sad screams…

Why?! Why do you… need to care about me?! Do even understand what you're throwing yourself into?!

My body slipped off the bed and I let myself sit down on the floor, leaning against the bed.

Another burning pain formed in my side.

I hadn't heard him walking, but Sebastian lowered himself next to me.

Don't touch me…

The boy slowly raised his arm.

Don't, please don't…

He carefully put it around my shoulders and pulled me closer to his him, leaning his head against mine.

I don't wanna hurt you too…

'Don't worry, it will be alright,' he whispered in my ear.

No it won't, it never will.

'Trust me,' Sebastian kissed the side of my head. I buried my face in his shoulder and he put his other arm around my back, pulling me as close as he could. 'I am here for you.'

Don't be!

'I won't let anyone hurt you, you know,' he whispered as he comfortingly stroke my hair. 'Just tell me...'

'I'm a fucking mess,' I cried as I tightly pulled my arms around his waist.

* * *

**Reviews? Share your thoughts about this chapter with me please? (:**


	9. Chapter 9

**Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand hello! I had a pretty busy weekend, so I couldn't write a new chapter! **

**But here it is in the end! I hope you like it!**

**BUT FIRST: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THOSE AMAZING REVIEWS! They were so nice to read! :D**

* * *

Everything seemed to be so… gray lately.

All the things I saw or witnessed were so boring… so dull. Nothing was interesting enough to even think about anymore.

The worst part was that no matter where I was or what I did, all my old memories just kept flashing before my eyes.

They didn't go away anymore now that they had come back…

That sucked so, so hard.

Luckily for me, I had always been a pro a keeping my act together, keeping my mask on.

So no one really noticed a difference about me when I was, well, everywhere.

The only time I could be just a little bit more myself, was when I was with Sebastian and truth to be told, that scared the shit out of me.

I had never had any intention for this to happen, it just did.

Hell, I didn't even know what "This" was to be exactly… wow.

All I know is that as well for Sebastian as for me, we both wanted it to be a one night exclusive thing, but it just turned out that we liked to play a little longer.

And now I wasn't even sure if it was still a game.

This was so confusing, like I didn't want it to go this way! The moment you start to care is the moment you've fucked yourself.

It's the worst thing to do… and I was pretty damn sure that Sebastian cared all right!

For myself, I didn't know what I felt or… I didn't wanna know what it was I felt so I just tried to ignore it as much as possible.

But something snapped inside of me three days ago and I cried a fucking river in front of Sebastian!

Good going, Rory, good going boy…

I placed my head in my hands and stared at the blank test paper underneath me.

Clean up this mess, man!

* * *

After my last class I didn't even bother to look at the books I would need for my homework, I just ran out of the building.

Sebastian had send me three texts these past days, asking me if I would come to him, or he asked me I he could pick me after school.

I had not texted him back anything. The same goes for today.

Inside I kinda wanted to see him and that's the exact reason for why I didn't respond.

If I would talk to him for a few days, this weird feeling inside my stomach would go away and we could continue were we had left of.

Just sex. Nothing more.

'Well, hello there gorgeous!' O NO. NO. NO. NO!

'Get out of my fucking way,' I said with grinned teeth and balled fists.

'What? I had to come back to America again to check on you!' Matthew said innocent, but his smile had something dark. 'And this is how you greet me? Tss!'

I realized we were just outside of my school, so I grabbed him by his arm and dragged him along.

'Don't you even dare make a loud noise,' I whispered angry at the boy next to me.

Holding on to him reminded me how sweet his body was, especially when- Stop thinking like this will you, dear God!, I yelled at myself as I let go of him.

We were two streets away and I started walking, knowing Matthew would follow me as a sick puppy.

'What do you mean, check up on me?' I asked him with no emotion in my voice as I placed my hands in the pockets of my hoodie.

'Well you know, seeing if you haven't done anything naughty around here of course,' said Matthew with a sweet wink.

Fucking weird kid.

'Oh, trust me, I have alright,' I said with a big grin on my face and let my eyebrows bounce up and down once, which made the black-haired boy laugh.

Matthews laugh was like the sound of one hundred young schoolgirls that screamed your name because you were the best football player on the team, an amazing feeling so to speak.

'Of course you have!' he laughed at me. 'But you know what I mean, though.'

'Yes.'

My eyes wondered around the fifteen year olds body. No one would ever say he was still fifteen.

I didn't think he was when I first met him, what a wild night that had been!

Hell yes, Matthew was a good fuck, but it had led to some more awkward situations later on.

I had agreed to "have a relationship" with him for like three months, because I wanted to have some fun without having to look for another person every single night, really.

That had granted me a stalker for life, whom was a good use every once in a while when I got in some trouble.

'So you've been good?' Matthew asked, his face now completely serious.

I nodded without looking up.

'Cool, I'll tell them at home,' he said with less emotion in his voice, which made me look up at his face.

After a little while I had had enough of him and dumped him, but he didn't want it to be over. Matthew had had a real crush on me, making everything so much more complicated.

So Annoying.

The last months before I came to here, Matthew had really become a stalker. He had been standing under my window, chased me when I went home from school and even accidently run into me almost all the time when I was in town.

He had been telling a lot of people about the two of us being together and stuff like that, which was driving me mad!

Matthew had also seen some stuff me and my friends had done, some being really childish and stupid, some being really, really worse.

And of course Matthew couldn't have kept his mouth shut…

In Ireland my family and school had thought of me to be a good, sweet student who got in some trouble every once in a while but nothing being seriously bad.

And that fucking kid had told them that it was, in fact.

Matthew was the reason of why I was here in America, where I should learn to behave myself and blah blah blah…

That had not been the main reason for why I really acted like good kid here, no…

If it had all been for that and that only I would have made a complete riot around here! Hah!

'So, how's it in Ireland?' I asked, seeming that Matthew had some troubled stuff on his mind.

'Great! A lot of people missing you of course and school is a lot more boring, but we can handle it,' the boy said with a nice smile on his face.

'Aha,' I answered, lacking the motivation to speak much more.

'Alex misses you a lot, he says he needs you to help him out with Kelly, 'cause he doesn't have the balls to ask her out,' Matthew said with a cocky grin, a horrible expression on his face.

'Hm, I should give him a call or something, or Kelly perhaps,' I said with a smile. 'Those two are really meant for each other, but they are too scared to admit it.'

My weird, lovely friends. Damn, I missed those fellows.

'Yeah! You-'

'Do you think I could arrange some sort of come back? Around the holidays or something?' I spoke, not caring that he was talking.

'Hm… maybe? I'm staying here for a few more days, I'll ask and let you know!' Matthew said with another one of his sweet smiles.

'That sounds great, I- ' But I stopped talking the second Matthew took my hand in his.

'I do need you phone number for that, you know,' he said and blink a few times playfully and grinned evil.

Wow. Subtle, man, subtle! Fucking idiot.

I was about to answer him in the most offensive, sarcastic way I could think of right then when I heard someone calling my name.

Oh, great…

Sebastian walked towards us with a smile on his face.

'Hey Rory! I was wondering when I'd hear something from you these days,' he said with his cocky smile, but I knew he had spotted my and Matthews hands… connected. Shit! Fucking Matthew!

Sebastian's smile was from a rich man, his eyes were from a death one.

* * *

So this chapter was a little bit more about Matthew, since he hasn't been around anymore lately.

Also I put in some details about Rory, but not the bigger ones, of course!

I won't spoil it just yet

So… reviews? :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for the reviews, I'm glad you are all liking my story so much (:**

**I appreciate it that you are letting me know!**

**Here's the 10****th**** chapter already, I'm proud :')**

* * *

Why?! Why did you had to walk here right freaking now?!

This was so… awkward and not to mention the part where I had to explain this?

Yeah, everyone holds hands with their ex-fuckbuddy! UUUHG

I shook of Matthews hand almost immediately, which Sebastian noticed.

'Stop doing that,' I told Matthew with no feeling in my voice except for coldness.

My eyes were like flames trying to burn down Matthew's body.

'Hmmpf, whatever you want,' the black-haired boy said obviously irritated by the fact that I rejected him… again.

Sebastian was watching me closely, terrific.

'I'll let you know if I get an answer for your question,' Matthew said and suddenly walked away.

Maybe this kid was a little bit smarter then I figured he was.

'What was that about?' Sebastian asked me curiously and I looked back at his face, meeting his eyes.

'Home business,' I told him in a non-caring tone, making sure that I didn't wanna talk about these things with him.

'Ah.'

A small, comfortable silence fell as we looked at each other. My stomach twisted just because I saw him again after a few days.

So weird…

'Come on,' Smythe said as he stretched out his hand.

I took it.

* * *

'Who is that dude anyway?' Sebastian laughed at me.

We were sitting on some grass field just out of town, a quiet and sweet place.

'Matthew,' I spoke softly while ripping out the grass next to me. 'An ex.'

'Ex? You've had real relationships before?' Sebastian asked me with real surprise in his voice, well thanks man!

'Just so I could bang around with him a little,' I grinned at the boy in front of me. 'He just wanted it to be official, ha ha!'

The warbler laughed a loud laugh, which gave me chills.

'For how long?' he asked me.

'Like… three months I believe?'

'Really? That's quite surprising, really,' Sebastian laughed.

'I've hadn't really had a real one before though, how about you?' I asked curious and my eyes watched how his body went a little stiffer.

'I have, yes. Three. One very long, the other quite short,' he told me, his eyes looking away from mine.

'What happened? The long one, I mean,' I asked and in my voice you could hear a little bit of sympathy, not much though. I knew the longer relationship was the one that he cared about most.

'He died in a car accident.'

Oops, didn't see that one coming.

'That's horrible,' I said after a minute of silence. 'I can't imagine how that was for you…'

Sebastian looked at me, his eyes locked on mine.

'It was, yeah. But it's been two years now, I'm fine,' He smiled at me, but I knew that that was a show.

I used that smile too. Mine was just more convincing.

I nodded, not knowing what to do or say.

'After something like that happens, you end up in a whole. A dark whole and it's hard to get out of it. You just need something or someone to show you the way out. A little light in the darkness.'

I was drowning in his beautiful green eyes.

'I found mine a few days ago. Someone showed me that I could feel something again, care again,' his voice sounded so light while floating through the air.

'You are my light, Rory, do you even know that?'

I knew, all right.

The problem was that I didn't know what to think of it… how to feel about this.

I always told myself not to care about anyone. It would just hurt you, more and more and more until you'd collapse.

My eyes saw nothing. I just stared in the deep as I felt an arm wrapping around my shoulders and pulling me towards the other one's warm body.

'What are you thinking, Rory Flanagan? I want to know…,' Sebastian's lips whispered beside my ear.

I kept on being silent as I let my body lay against his.

We looked at the sunset as Sebastian held me tightly.

For some reason I felt the urge to cry. To cry hard, loud, a lot. I felt the need to scream as well, as equally hard, loud and just as much!

I couldn't take it…

I didn't understand what I was feeling these days. These feelings for Sebastian were driving me mad!

And then there was this fucking need hat I wanted to go home!

I had to!

Not for my friends, if you could really call them that. Even though I knew them I didn't tell them everything about me.

I didn't care if I would see my parents.

All I wanted to see was Evy…

Sebastian touched my cheek with his hand and woke me up from my thoughts.

'Don't think too much, right now,' he spoke softly to me. 'Just sit here with me, okay?'

I looked at his covered chest for a few minutes, then I looked back into his eyes as I nodded slowly.

A smile formed on his lips as he pulled me closer and kissed me.

It wasn't a kiss with action, it was more that our lips were connected for a little while, really.

But I could feel the passion bursting out of him.

As we parted I placed my forehead against his chin and closed my eyes with a small sigh.

* * *

**Turned out a bit longer then I wanted it to be haha! Not that I mind (:**

**I hope I didn't make you to curious…**

**Reviews, please? **


	11. Chapter 11

**Hahaha I just love to read your reviews! :D thanks so much!**

**Be patient, everything will fall in to place and will be explained! Haha **

**Here's is chapter 11!:**

* * *

How do you know you have officially Christmas vacation?

Correct! A snowball fight just after the last bell from school on Friday!

And totally honest, I had had quite a good time throwing snow in some people their faces.

Like the baseball team, the football team, Santana, Rachel, Santana, Brittany (Because that was just funny, she looked so cute with snow on her nose), Kurt because he'd go insane about his clothes being ruined, Santana, some teachers and… had I mentioned Santana already?

'Are you having plans already for tonight? 'cause my parents would love to spend Christmas together with the five of us this year,' Brittany told me as we were walking towards home right after the fight and the 'we'll definitely meet somewhere these days' conversations.

'No, I'm totally free,' I told my housemate who got a smile on her face because of those words. 'Tomorrow I won't be, though.'

'That's no problem!' she said with a grin.

We hurried our asses back home, were you could smell the turkey already! Yum!

The two of us quickly undressed and redressed ourselves, both wearing some crazy Christmas sweaters whom my own mother had send to us from Ireland.

We were hanging around on Brittany's room until her father called us to come and eat.

'You look so lovely!' her mom said with a huge, motherlike smile on her face as Brittany and I walked towards the table. 'Your mom is incredible, Rory!'

'Yes she is! It's really cool that she makes these sweaters herself,' I said way to enthusiastically.

Like I cared that my mom could make Christmas sweaters…

We had a 'Lovely' dinner and some 'lovely' dinner chatting going on for at least an hour.

Then the dad pointed out we should go look under the tree to see I Santa had brought us something.

I laughed and wanted to say something when Brittany's parents shushed me.

'She still believes in Santa Claus,' her mom told me as Brittany was already in the livingroom.

'Really?' I asked astonished. 'That's bizarre!'

'Yes, well just play along okay?' she asked me with a twinkle in her eyes. Brittany got the looks from her mom, obviously.

'Of course!' I reacted almost immediately, regretting that I had made my personality so happy and carefree.

'That's so lovely!' the mother laughed at me and we walked to the living room.

Of course it was lovely, everything was lovely in your world, I thought as I sarcastically rolled with my eyes.

We sat around the Christmas tree, both me and Brittany on the ground, as we sang some songs together and fooled around a bit.

'Let's open the presents, then!' the father said, starting to become impatient, just like his daughter.

I watched them opening the presents they bought for each other, or "put on the list Santa should buy for the others" and couldn't help but wonder.

They seemed to have such a good time. These people enjoyed being amongst each other.

At my home we hadn't celebrated Christmas like this in what seemed like forever, the last couple of years we were always fighting about everything so Christmas wasn't something we used to do anymore.

'Here, Rory, this one is for you!' Brittany said spontaneously loud as she walked over from the tree towards me.

'For me?' I asked in surprise and my eyebrows shot up.

'Yes! Rudolf must have told Santa that you are living here know!' the blonde smiled.

'Yeah, I guess so,' I answered still surprised. 'I'll send him a thank you-note.'

I received a small, red box with a green bow on top of it. Really sweet.

But I couldn't do anything but stare at it.

'Go one, open it boy,' the father said with a satisfied look on his face, my temporary family didn't seem to be willing to wait for my reaction.

Slowly I took of the bow and unwrapped the paper.

Just a little, white box which I carefully opened. As I looked inside I couldn't help but smile.

It was the best and most predictable present these people could ever give me.

'Thank… thank you,' I said and I meant those words from the bottom of my heart as I took out the small plush leprechaun doll.

* * *

'She really wanted me to dress up like one and get a picture of me holding that thing!' I laughed at Sebastian.

'Really? Gosh I would just love to see that!' the other boy said as he looked at the leprechaun doll he held in his hand. 'But it's nice of them to give you this, don't you think?'

'Yeah, sure,' I said as I looked out the window. Everything was so white outside.

What a beautiful view.

'So, when will I get my present?' Sebastian asked and without looking I could see the grin on his face.

'I'm pretty sure I have given you three since I've got here a few hours ago,' I said with little emotion in my voice to reckon.

'Yeah, well two of them _blowed_, you know! Haha!' Sebastian joked around and a melodious laugh rolled of his lips.

'Very funny, man.'

I stood up and sat down next to him on the big bed. Looking at the sheets, we had made a little bit of a mess…

'I mean a reaaaal present, one in a box!' Sebastian said with his sweet eyes twinkling for attention.

'Do you want my dick in a box? I don't see how that would make it more special…'

'Not that I don't like that idea, but in that case I want the whole you in a box…'

'Oh really?'

'Yes, really.'

'With a bow and everything?'

'Yes!'

As we talked our faces got closer and closer and now our noses were touching, our lips almost and we had closed our eyes.

'Keep on dreaming about that, big boy,' I said as I placed my lips gently onto his.

Sebastian responded directly, but our kiss was sweet and soft. Something I wasn't really used to doing, but I kinda liked it.

Slowly, Sebastian pulled away and looked me in the eyes.

He asked with a quiet voice: 'Have you heard if you will be going to Ireland somewhere these days yet?'

I blinked a few times.

'Oh sorry, I forgot to mention that when I had your cock in my mouth,' I said with no emotion in my voice as I reached over towards the end of the bed, where my phone was laying on the floor.

'Hm, weird that you didn't,' Sebastian laughed and I felt him moving a little.

I sat back down and looked on my phone though my messages, somewhere Matthew had texted me.

I felt really sad that I had to give him my number, but he hadn't called or anything yet so I was relieved.

'Here it is, I'll be leaving over two days. Cool, I'm gonna fly again, yay,' I said sarcastically. I didn't enjoy flying, it just made me sick and a little frightened that we'd crash or something.

Too many airplane movies…

'Two already?' Sebastian asked and his tone made me look up. He didn't look that pleased with the answer.

'It's just for five days,' I said and stroke through my hair, why was Sebastian not pleased?

'So… we'll only have one week to spend together when you get back…'

Really, dude? That was your problem?

'I'll make it up to you,' I said with a bounce of my eyebrows and a nice smile on my face. 'We will just have to catch up the fucks.'

I leaned in to kiss the light-brown haired boy, but Sebastian turned his head away slightly.

'That's not really the big deal, you know…'

The weirdest part was that Sebastian wasn't looking at me, which he normally always did.

'What is?' I asked with a frown and I sat right up.

'Really? I was pretty sure I've made it clear a few days ago,' the other guy said with a little irritation sounding through his voice.

What?

'Made what clear?' he didn't answer me, nor did he move or anything.

'Please, tell me? I'm not joking, you know?' I asked him.

'I am talking about what I said to you on the grass field,' Sebastian said as he looked at me with that damn look, the one that showed how he felt. 'I told you, I care about you, Rory. That means I want more than to just have sex with you every minute of every day.'

I sure as hell knew he said that, I just hoped he didn't really mean it… fuck!

'At the beginning of this you said no strings attached,' I informed him as my eyes tried to dodge his eyes.

'I changed my mind, I guess.' His tone was so… set to reach his goal.

'That not really how these games work, you know.'

'For God's sake! Will you stop acting like this is still a game, Rory! It's not! It hasn't been any more since you've cried…,' Sebastian started to yell in an angry tone, but stopped when he saw my whole body stiffen up. 'What's wrong?'

My hands started trembling and soon my whole body was shaking.

'Rory?'

Sebastian tried to put his arm around me, but I pushed it away and jumped up from the bed.

'I… I should just… go,' I said and quickly grabbed my stuff.

'No! Rory wait I didn't mean to drop this on you like that! I'm sorry, let me explain!' Sebastian frantically said, but I all I could think of was to get out of here.

Painful memories returned.

* * *

**So how was that? Ready for the next one already?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks for the reviews! So worth it!**

**And haaaaay to **EdwardM11! :D

**And for **2cool4uu800 :** I will not ever mind that you review XD!**

**Without further do, here's chapter 12!:**

* * *

I shut down my phone as I got a board of the airplane.

Now I couldn't hear his calls or texts, which relieved me and frightened me at the same time.

Confused I shook my head, I tried to remind myself that I didn't wanna think about Sebastian now.

At least not while I was on this flight.

But as I sat down in my seat, I was convinced that thinking about him was something I'd probably do for the whole flight… great!

Fucking great!

I hadn't talked to the said guy the past two days, I hadn't talked to anyone anymore.

Every possible opportunity I found to get out of the house I took, 'cause crying in front of people wasn't something I'd ever do.

At least, not with most people…

The last two nights I had cried myself to sleep and had woken up with tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

That fucking … it was all his fault. If he wouldn't have said that stuff I wouldn't feel like this!

I would not be basically running away from him, or avoiding him.

Pfff, Sebastian and his fucking feelings.

As the plane was set to leave I placed my head against the window, sleeping would be the best way to get this damn flight over with.

As the engines started I closed my eyes.

….

_I am walking home from school as I see my younger sister sitting on the street._

'_Hey Evy!' I yell at her. The little one looks up at the noise, but she doesn't smile as she sees its me._

_O god, what had happened?_

_I run up to her and kneel down next to her. _

_Long wavy hair hangs loosely around her face, so no one could see it from sideways._

'_Has something happened?' I ask as I put my arms around her. _

_I feel how her shoulders start to shake, so I pull her in a little closer._

'_Don't cry, it'll all be alright,' I whisper in her ear._

'_No, no it won't!' Evy screams into my shoulders._

_God, she was only eight years old then._

…

I rubbed in my eyes, wondering why I had chills all over my body.

What was I dreaming again? Sure as hell wasn't something nice.

Tired, I closed my eyes again.

…

'_Run dude! They're right behind us!' Alex screams at me._

'_They won't be fast enough, man!' I yell back with a grin on my face as I started to speed up._

_No one could ever catch up with us._

_This was our playground. We knew how to be fast around here._

'_Two to the left, one with me,' I yell as I run to the right. Knowing their footsteps I notice Alex coming with me as James and Jeremy went left._

_As to be expected._

'_Up.'_

_We jump onto a pair of trashcans and climb up the small wall behind them, kicking the cans over so our followers wouldn't do the same._

_Alex and I run for a few more minutes, before we collapse on the floor. After we panted a little without saying or doing anything we placed ourselves against the wall of an old building behind us._

'_We did it once again, man,' Alex tells me with a huge smile._

'_I know, right,' I pant as I look into the little pool of water next to my feet._

'_We're awesome,' the longhaired, blond boy says me as he strikes his sideway bangs out of his right eye to the left side._

'_Yeah…'_

'_I mean, we just stole all of this in Barbey's shop! No one has ever stole something there without being caught! Haaaaah!' Alex said with a triumphant smile._

'_We we're caught,' I tell the way to enthusiastic guy as I roll my eyes._

'_Yeah, well we got away didn't we,' said guy says with a clever look burning in his eyes._

'_Whatever.'_

'_So, how are the parents doing?' Alex asks me out of nothing, but I knew what he was talking about._

'_He's the same of course,' I tell him about my father. 'She ain't my mother, you shitbreak.'_

_Alex laughs out loud. It makes me look at him with a firm look._

'_I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' he says. 'I know, I know.'_

_I looked away from his eyes, knowing what was coming next._

'_How's Evy doing?' my best friend asks me._

'_She still feels miserable, then again she takes everything those two throw at her,' I say with some hatred sounding through my voice._

_In my head I could hear my stepmom yell at my ten year old sister, I could hear her curse and scream her longs out._

_Then my dad would walk in, being frustrated by the noise and getting angrier and angrier at the two women._

_That bitch would win the fight with my sister about who to blame, she always would._

'_So, he still hits?'_

'_Until the day he drops dead,' I say with no emotions as I stare into the water._

_One, another… and another and another…_

'_Sick dude, sick,' Alex says as he lights up a cigarette._

_With one hand I grab in my hair, as l pull my knees up to my chest and place my face on them._

_With a lot of effort I kept my tears inside._

_The life of a thirteen year old seemed so hard._

…

I shook my head as I woke up.

Alex? Why had I dreamed about Alex? What had we been doing?

I rubbed over my face, hoping that would make me more awake, but it didn't.

Damn, where's coffee if you need it?

Oh, whatever…

…

_Damnit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

_I look at my bloody fists, which I had been hitting a wall with for at least an hour._

_Tears are still streaming down my cheeks._

_My breath is painfully shaking._

_My knees give in as I fall on them on the ground and cover my face with my bloody hands._

_You're thirteen, Evy, why are you doing this all to yourself?! Are you out of your mind?!_

_She's the only person I can we myself with… _

_As I hear her cry at night I go over to her room, comfort her, hold her._

_I've always done that, it just became more needed after mom…_

_Why! Why is all my effort not enough for you?_

_What made you think this shit would be a better way…_

'_Sup, bro,' I hear the sweet sound of her voice say, but at the same time I know it isn't her._

_Not really._

'_Evy…,' I whisper as I look up to her. _

'_You're crying? A fifteen year old boy, crying on the floor!' she says and starts laughing._

_A horrible laugh, one I never wanted to hear._

_I jump up, adrenaline kicking in my veins._

_Forcefully I grabbed my sisters wrists and push her up against the wall in front of me._

'_Are you insane?' I ask with the anger sounding through my voice._

'_No!' she says still laughing._

'_Why are you using those pills? You fucking idiot!' I scream at her._

''_Cause they're funny, they make me happy,' she tells me with a sweet smile on my lips._

'_How can you even think this will make everything better!'_

_I tried to shake some sense into her mind, but it didn't seem to work._

''_Cause now I won't mind dad beating me up, I won't feel it!' she smiled._

_I wanted to hit her, so so bad._

'_So, bro, do you want a kiss?' Evy asks me and smiles sweetly at me, her dark waves fall playfully next to her face._

'_You're disgusting,' I say with a disappointed look in my eyes as I let go of her._

_I can hear her laugh as I walk away from her with the tears streaming down my cheeks once again._

…

One second I saw the inside of the plane, and then everything went black again.

…

_My heart is pounding so hard it feel like it will fall out of my chest!_

_I'm frantically looking at every door which I come across, desperately searching for the right one._

_Where was it? O please, let me find it, I'm begging inside of my head as I run down the hallway._

_People stare at me as I walk by, but in their looks I notice sympathy, understanding._

_They know exactly what I'm going through, or they seem to understand at least._

_234, 235, 236… There it was. 237._

_Everything around that door seemed to fade into black._

_237._

_That number will haunt me forever, that's what I feel when I stare at it._

_Oh, God…_

_I reach out and slowly open the door._

_Inside the room I see my dad and his wife sitting next to a hospital bed, both crying their eyes out._

'_You!' my father yells at me furious. 'This, this is your entire fault!'_

_He points his finger towards the bed._

_Time stopped._

'_What? Me? What are you talking about?! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT ABUSED HER, EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY!' I scream back into his face._

'_HOW DO YOU DARE SAYING THAT!' his eyes are burning._

'_LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKING BRUISES, YOU FUCK!'_

_I look at my sister, lying in the bed, unconscious. On her arms you see some bruises. _

'_THOSE ARE NOT FROM ME, BUT FROM THE HIT, YOU MORON! My dad screams back at me. 'IT'S YOUR FAULT, IT IS! LOOK AT HER ARM, YOU FAILURE!'_

_Astonished I just look at him, not understanding what he was saying._

'_Please, Rory, give it a look,' Angelica whispers as she wipes off her tears. 'Please.'_

_As slow as I could I made my way to the bed where my now fourteen year old sister was lying in._

_One year had gone by since I had first discovered she was taking drugs._

_As I was standing next to Evy, I looked at her bruised face, wondering if it really was from the hit…_

'_Look,' my father tells me with a cold voice._

_So I carefully take her left arm in my hands and turn it around._

_Rory, stood there written in her arm. _

_I felt nothing. Nothing. Everything inside of me, every corner, was empty._

_Her arms slipped out of my hands._

_My body became numb as I felt myself lower down on the floor. My eyes stared at nothing._

_Rory… _

_Rory… _

_Rory…_

_I could only see her arm._

_Rory…_

_Oh God, please, please, what have I done wrong?!_

…

I woke up with tears streaming down my face, remembering all my dreams.

'You've landed in Ireland, have a nice stay!'

I felt so numb.

* * *

**I hope you liked this one, I tried so hard to make it a good one!**

**My school is starting this week, so my updates might take some days, as I have to find the time and motivation to write them.**

**BUT I won't make you wait for too long! **

**Let me know what you've thought of this chapter? ^^**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favorites guys! Made my first week of school so much better!**

**I try and write pieces at every opportunity I get, so I can update faster for you! (:**

**Here's the next one:**

* * *

Waiting at the entrance of the airport for my best friend Alex, I looked around.

Yet I didn't see.

My mind was a mess, and I was trying to clean it up before Alex would be here.

If he'd see me like this, or anyone for that matter, I would not be allowed to go back to America.

And for some reason I kinda wanted to go back…

'Well, what a lovely smile is that on your face!' I heard a familiar voice say.

As I looked to my left I saw the tall boy walking over to me, his longer, blond hair bouncing on his shoulders. Still with those crazy emo-like sideway bangs that hid his eye.

'I was thinking of you,' I said with a bounce of my eyebrows. 'Of our special nights from months ago.'

'What?' Alex asked surprised.

'You know, when we'd play videogames together and got closer and closer,' I told him. 'When we cuddles up and you found my hands all- '

'Dude! You're making me sick!' Alex said horrified.

I started laughing so bad tears formed in the corner of my eyes. I had missed this dude.

'I really, really don't wanna hear your fantasies about me! I'm straight!'

'O god, but you always keep on listening when I tell you this stuff!' I cried out loud, putting my hands on my knees for support.

'Yeah well… oh for fuck's sake,' Alex screamed out loud.

People where starring at us for being so loud, but we didn't care. Alex and I hadn't seen each other for a few months, so we we're allowed to have a laugh now!

'I've missed you dude,' Alex said as he put a hand on my shoulder.

'Same goes for me, wanker!' I laughed at him.

'C'mon, we'd better be heading home now,' Alex said with a grin, clearly happy that I was back in Ireland.

I had to say, I had missed it here too.

'Yeah! Can't wait to see Jeremy and James again,' I said with enthusiasm sounding through my voice.

'They miss you too,' my friends said with a smile. 'But they don't know you were coming back today!'

Well, this was going to be fun!

'Exciting,' I told Alex.

Then I kept quiet, waiting for him to tell me his plan.

Alex loved scaring or surprising people and since this was a good opportunity I knew he had something in mind.

But the blonde tried to keep his mouth shut as well, hoping I would ask him if he had a plan.

Three... Two... One...

'Okay, fuck it! I'm gonna tell you my idea!'

You're too easy, fellow, too easy, I thought as I listened.

* * *

I pulled down my mask, so the two boys wouldn't notice me.

Alex had told them he had stolen something and that they had to come and see it. They'd meet in the abandoned playground.

I was waiting on the corner. I was seated so perfectly that no one would see me, but I could see and hear them.

'So? What do you have?' Jeremy asked nervously at Alex.

'Yeah? Show us!' James sounded more curious. Jeremy had never liked the stealing part.

'It's all in this bag!' Alex said and gave his blue back bag to James.

At the same moment the two boys almost opened the back I jumped up and ran towards them.

'SHIT! RUN!' Alex screamed and all three made a run for it.

Of course Alex turned left at some point, leaving our other friends to run scared and without leadership.

Without me or Alex- James and Jeremy weren't as good as they could be. They needed someone to lead them.

I followed them around for a few blocks, just because it was funny to do.

But I got a little bored and quickly made my way towards them.

I grabbed one at the shirt and pulled him behind me, pushing myself in front so I could grab the other one.

As I got a hold of both of them I threw them down on the ground.

'You haven't gotten a bit better since I left, you know that?' I asked with a grin as I removed my mask.

'RORY!' Both screamed out loud.

They got up in a second and jumped at me.

We almost fell if I hadn't seen it coming, they were always so… cuddly.

'We missed you so much!'

'Since when are you back home?!'

'Rory!'

'Why didn't you say you were coming back, you fucking wanker!'

'We have presents for you! For Christmas!'

'How's America?'

'How are the chicks?'

'And the boys?'

'Tell us!'

I tried to push em off me with the biggest grin since ever on my face. Boy, had I missed these people…

'He just got back guys, give him some space!' Alex laughed as he walked up to us.

'You knew?! Traitor!' James shouted at my best friends as they let go of me. At the same instant did Jeremy let go of me and the twins walked to Alex, making quite a scary sight.

The brothers J, as long as they were together they'd be all right, I knew that.

'I wanted to surprise you! Now Rory, tell us how was America?' Alex tried to get himself out of this mess.

'It's pretty boring,' I said careless, which made my three friends turn around to look surprised at me.

'What?' one of the brown, short haired twins asked me, his lighter brown eyes twinkling surprisingly.

'It's the truth, it's much cooler being here with you guys. It's lame there. I have to act like a carefree, happy dude who never gets into trouble and is a virgin first class!' I told them disgustingly.

My fellows started laughing.

'That obviously would be your problem! A virgin! Hahaha!' Alex cried as he bended over from the laughter.

'It's not funny,' I tried, but smiled a little.

'It kinda is! Why do have to act?' James asked with tears rolling down his face.

'They wanted me to behave,' I said and more laughing was born. 'So I have to do it like that!'

'But hahaha, you're such a… hahaaa troublemaker,' the other twin laughed.

'I know,' I said as I started laughing with them.

'And the rest of it, I mean it's gotta have some good stuff right?' the blonde one asked me as we all sat down on the dirty ground.

I nodded with a filthy smile.

'Girls or boys?' James asked me curiously and the other twin looked interested as well.

'Both, actually,' I said with a cocky smile on my face as I stroke through my hair.

'YES!' they yelled and high-fived each other.

Bisexual twins who liked to share, I knew the next question already. I sighed.

'So, you have some for us?' James asked with huge eyes of excitement and Jeremy almost looked the same.

'Well I know the perfect couple,' I said after thinking for two seconds. 'But one, I don't think Santana wants to share her girlfriend and two, I won't give you Brittany. She's too sweet for you!'

'Uhg, that's mean Rory! When we come over, you have to introduce us, maybe we can pull it off…'

I smacked James in his face with my fist.

'OOOHW!' He screamed. 'Why did you do that!?'

But when they saw the serious expression on my face, all three guys looked astonished at me.

'Don't tell me a girl made you straight?' Alex asked, leaving his mouth open after talking.

'What? No! I haven't slept with her! I mean I tried, but she was practically taken by Santana so I gave up… I mean Brittany is in love so…' yeah awkward talk...

And once again, my sort of friends laughed at me. Yay!

* * *

'Thanks man,' I said to Alex as I took over my bag. He had hold onto one for me, since they were a little big.

'You're welcome, as always,' my friend told me.

I nodded and looked at the house in front of me. Wonderful.

'Don't worry so much, they will be glad to see you,' Alex told me and lay a hand on my shoulder.

I looked back at his eyes.

'You've been… around here?' I asked and my eyes got smaller.

'I visited. They have been wondering how you were and… I kinda let them know you were still alive.'

'Like they care,' I said sarcastically and shook of his hand of me.

'Don't stay mad at them, they mean well,' Alex tried to help, he knew most of everything what happened.

'Whatever, I'll see you tomorrow,' I said without emotion and started walking to the front door.

'Don't act like that around me, dude,' Alex warned me. I knew he didn't like it when I put up my walls in front of him.

Whatever.

'See ya,' I said as I walked in the house, not giving him another look.

Inside of the cage.

'I'm home,' I yelled and the sound of running footsteps sounded through the house.

Soon my father and his wife stood in front of me, looking how I put away my key.

'What?' I asked with as less feelings as I could. 'Where's Evy?'

'Why are you home?' my dad asked with anger sounding through his voice.

'They let me come home for Christmas,' I told him, trying not to sound just as angry. He really… really annoyed me.

No smile as he saw me, no "welcome back!" or "Rory! What a surprise!"

Fuck it.

I picked up my stuff again and dragged it to my room, where I threw it all down on the floor.

I opened one suitcase and grabbed out my wallet and the doll I had gotten from the Pears.

Putting those things in my shoulder bag, I ran down the stars and was ready to leave again, when Angelica stopped me by putting her hand on my chest.

Her hair had turned a lot grayer since I left home months ago…

'Don't fight all the time, your dad is feeling really depressed lately. Evy had to go back to the rehab two months ago and- ' I ran out of the house in two seconds.

No, no, no, no, no! not again!

Evy…

I ran forty minutes straight to the clinic, ignoring the pain in my side which had started to act after ten minutes.

Panting from exhaustion and pain I leaned at the counter trying to say my sister's name, but I couldn't.

'Boy, sit down,' the women behind the desk said. 'Come.'

She took me by my arm and placed me on one of the chairs in the hallway.

'Do you want a drink? A glass of water perhaps?'

'No… I… want… see… Evy Flanagan,' I panted and pressed my hand in my side, trying to stop the burning pain.

'I'm sorry, it's not visiting hour right now,' the women told me but I looked up at her with a painful look in my eyes. One that told her it wasn't about my side.

'I'll bring you to her,' she told me. 'But don't tell anyone about this, dear.'

I shook my head as she helped me up.

When she brought me to the room she pinched me in my shoulder, telling me she was worried.

'Thank you,' I said from the bottom of my heart. 'Thank you.'

She nodded with a smile as she left me alone.

I took a deep breath as I opened the door and walked into the room.

Her long dark curls hung before her face. Her skinny body sat on the windowsill as she stared at the view.

She didn't look up from the noise I had made.

'Evy?' I tried to say it gentle.

Slowly, my sister turned around and her big blue eyes seemed to become even bigger.

'Rory?' my sister's eyes filled with tears. 'Rory!'

She stood up and ran towards me. I caught her in my arms and pressed her closely against me.

I let my tears stream down my face.

'I've missed you, so, so much,' I cried in her hair. 'You have no idea…'

'Rory,' Evy whispered in my chest. 'Rory, Rory, Rory…'

Her tiny arms were wrapped around my waist, her nails buried in my clothes. Evy seemed so scared I wasn't real.

'C'mon, don't cry,' I said with a watery smile as I gave us a little space. I softly stroke her hair.

But my little sister kept on crying, and crying and crying.

'Sit down,' I told her and led her to her bed. Evy did as she was told.

She let go of me, except for my hand. So I held hers, letting her know I was real.

'Why have you come back?' the brunette whispered.

'You know why,' I said with a small smile. 'I can't live without these hills!'

'You can have a new life there,' she told me as she whipped of the tears from her cheeks.

'It's not the same in America, I need you and Alex and stuff.'

With my thumb I stroke the back of her hand.

'You're so stupid!'

I nodded. Then I remembered.

'Check this out!' I said as I opened up my bag and showed her my gift.

Evy looked at me with confused eyes, so I told her the story. I told my little sister every story.

Everything I had experienced in America. Small or big. Important or not.

Expect for one, small thing.

'Wow. That sounds so cool! Take me with you some day!' Evy said with an enthusiastic twinkle in her eyes.

I smiled and nodded.

'So… have you met anyone there? Like, someone you like?' she asked me as she lay down on the bed.

I let go of her hand and carefully pulled out the blanket underneath her to tuck her in.

'Yeah… sort of,' I mumbled.

'What's he like?' she asked curiously. I had to stop with what I was doing to think about that.

Sebastian Smythe. What was Sebastian Smythe like?

Gorgeous. Sweet. Caring. A good listener. Perfect.

'Not someone you'll ever meet,' I told her with my old, confident smile. The one I always used when I told her about that part of my life. Just as that sentence.

'You're lying! I can tell!' my fifteen year old sister smiled at me.

I rolled my eyes.

'Whatever. So… I still have to buy you a gift for Christmas… what would you like to have?' I asked her as I sat down on the bed.

'I want you to sing for me, please?'

I blinked a few times.

'Beg you pardon? I can buy anything and you ask me to sing for you?' I was surprised.

'I love it when you sing,' Evy told me flustered and she put her blanket over her nose.

'Sure, but it's a Christmas song then,' I smiled, even though Christmas was pretty much done.

Evy nodded and put her blanket down.

I looked for a karaoke version on my phone and put in on play and smiled at my sister.

"_Don't mind the snow that's falling, the carol singers calling_

_I'm just happy, to be spending _

_our first Christmas… Together_"

I ticked on her nose with a sweet smile.

"_And I'll be more than jolly_

_With the mistletoe and holly_

_Tonight as we are counting down to Christmas… Together_

_Just, you and me"_

Her eyes lightened up, which gave me a warm feeling inside.

"_With those jingle bells ringing _

_As I'm holding you near_

_I'll be making a toast _

_May tonight be the most_

_Unforgettable night of the yeeeeeaaaaaar_

"_The sound of Jingle bells and laughter _

_Will remind us ever after_

_Of how we spent that magical first Christmas… Together_

_Just, you and me"_

God I had missed being with her, singing for her!

"_Just you and me_

_With those jingle bells ringing _

_As I'm holding you near_

_I'll be making a toast _

_May tonight be the most _

_Unforgettable night of the yeeeeeaaaaaar_

_The yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaar! _

_Cuddled up and cozy_

_The future's looking rosy_

_And I can see us spending every Christmas_

_Together _

_Just you and me_

_Just you and me_

_Just you and me_

_Just you and meeeeeeeee"_

I planted a sweet kiss on my sister's forehead.

This all seemed so perfect right now… and I just wondered if one person more would make this even… better? Would that be possible?

Damn…

Sebastian…

* * *

**Long chapter! Hope you liked it!**

**Reviews, please? :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Once again thank you all for the reviews! :D**

**I know you all want Sebastian back in the picture, and he will be soon! I just wanted you have a look in Rory's life back in Ireland and that's what these chapters are for :)**

**Here's chapter 14:**

* * *

Grunting I crawled out of my bed and stroke through my hair.

I had been back in Ireland for five days now… so tonight I was flying back home again.

Yay, more flying.

More American stuff.

More Sebastian.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to see him just yet. Not that he had done something wrong in particular.

It was just the angry yelling from last time I was afraid of.

For some strange reason al lot of painful memories had come back because of that and I wasn't ready to have that experience again.

And I knew Sebastian would probably still be angry at me as I saw him again.

If I'd see him again, maybe he'll just ignore me, I thought.

Maybe that would be better for the both of us…

But, did I really want that? Not seeing Sebastian anymore?

For some reason Sebastian made me feel stuff no one had ever made me, nice feelings.

Aaaaaaargh! This was so confusing!

I grabbed at my hair and pulled at it softly, trying not to scream out my lungs from frustrations.

'RORY! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!'

O god, what was his problem!

I got up from my bed and quickly put on pants and a shirt before I made my way down the stairs.

My dad was waiting for me in the hallway, his arms crossed over his chest.

Great…

'What?' I asked without taking the effort to make it sound like I really cared.

'You haven't done the dishes as I told you last night! Nor did you clean up the living room, or helped Angelica in the garden! You just left the house and went out 'till six in the morning! Are you out of your mind?! Thinking you can do just whatever you want?! You're too lazy to help out here, or do something at school!' the man started raging.

I sighed bored, always the same. Like I would help you out…

'You're just a worthless piece of shit, you know that? You can never do something good in your life, can you?! You fucking wanker, just making trouble around town with your punkass friends and act like you own this fucking place!'

He gave me a push against my shoulder, but I let him. If he wanted to rage, that was fine with me.

My father could push, hit, kick me all he wanted. It wasn't like I really gave that much about myself.

He clenched his fist and raised it up.

And there we go…

Angelica walked in on us, but when she saw how my dad hit me in my face, she gave out a little scream.

We locked eyes and I told her to go away.

I had to search for breath as my dad kicked me in my side and fell down on the ground.

Angelica's footsteps told me she ran away, for now.

As I got up another blow was directed against me, but I avoided it.

'Fucking good for nothing!' my dad screamed angry as he hit me against my jaw.

He went nuts.

After a few more kicks and hits, I could catch a breath as he looked at me with the darkest look I had ever seen on his face.

'You'll just end up like your sister and-'

Full of anger I pinned the man against the wall, holding my arm holding against his shoulders and throat.

'Don't you dare say something about Evy,' I whispered as my eyes looked in his.

My father had never seen me like this. Not against himself.

'You fucking wanker,' I spit in his face. 'Fucking idiot…'

I let go of him and got back to my room, which I locked the moment I closed the door behind me.

All the stuff I owned got picked up and thrown in a suitcase.

As I had me last bag packed, a small knock on my door sounded. It wasn't my dad, I knew that so I opened my door.

Angelica stood there, tears streaming down her cheeks.

'What do you want?' I said, emotionless.

'Please, Rory, you know how he is. Your dad doesn't mean it like that,' the woman tried to tell me. '

Why was everyone saying that?

'Damnit, Angelica, look at me!' I yelled and pointed to my bleeding face. 'How can you even say that?'

'I… don't know…'

'The sex gotta be good,' I mumbled as I put on my shoes.

'Excuse me?' she asked in shock.

'Nothing,' I said and tried to hide my smile. 'I don't know how you can keep up with him, seriously. Look at what he does to us. You know how Evy is. It's not her own fault.'

'Not completely, no, but partly it is,' Angelica explained me as she sat down on the bed next to me. 'Evy felt the urge to take drugs, because of her terrible relationship with her father. You on the other hand, didn't.'

I kept quiet for a few seconds, then I nodded.

'Don't take this the wrong way, Rory, but I do love your father. I won't leave, not even when I know that he is so horrible to his children,' Angelica told me with a small smile.

'Like you've been so good to us,' I said with no feeling.

We looked at each other, in her eyes I saw the pain I had just caused.

Seemed to be the only thing I really was good at, causing pain and misery…

'Look Rory, I know that I've treated you kids bad as well, and I feel terrible about it. After you went to America and Evy got back from the hospital, we talked. A lot. Evy told me she was afraid of me and that felt awful. It was awful to know I had been one of the causes for her to end up in that hospital.'

'You've cleaned up,' I said, knowing what she meant.

'Yes, I have, Evy and I go along pretty well now,' Angelica smiled. 'But I'm afraid she'll never accept her dad.'

'Even though she loves him,' I told her and my father's wife nodded. Unconditionally we still somehow cared for dad, even if we hated him.

'When you come back again, I hope we can retry and get along?' she asked me.

'A fresh start,' I said as she gave me a hug.

* * *

Damn I hated flying!

Why on earth would people ever like flying?

It's so terrible.

With some inside mouth cursing I dragged my suitcases along the place.

No matter how hungry I was all I really wanted was to go back to the Pears and sleep all day.

Night. Day. I don't know…

I bumped into way to many people, it was so crowded here! Luckily I saw the door to get out of this big place.

With a sigh of relieve I opened the doors and put my cases on the ground, taking a deep breath of fresh air, lovely!

As I opened my eyes I saw someone standing across the street.

No way… he wouldn't be, would he?

'S… Sebastian?' I asked softly in confusion.

* * *

**So… do you think it's Sebastian? Or would it be someone else…**

**Struggles struggles…**

**Reviews? So you can find out what's happing just outside of the airport? :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Wow lots of reviews! Thanks so much! :D **

**I am so glad you like my story so much^^**

**Here's the next chapter woop woop!:**

* * *

Was it really him? Or was I just imaging it?

Wait. Why would I think about that? The fuck? Why was my heart beating so fast in my chest?

My hands were starting to sweat and for some reason my knees were almost trembling.

Why was my body reacting like this?

'S… Sebastian?' I heard myself ask, confused. Why did my voice sound so fucking strange?!

It felt like my body was moving on its own, as I started walking towards the figure on the other side of the street.

With every step I took I noticed more and more things on the person that reminded me about Sebastian Smythe.

His messy, jet groomed hair.

His tall, small figure which actually was pretty muscular.

Those perfectly, kissable lips.

That sweet nose.

Those gorgeous eyes I could literally drown in.

'Sebastian,' I whispered as I was standing in front of him, dropping my luggage once again on the ground.

Sebastian just stared at my face, his eyes wandered all over it.

Why are you making my heart beat so… quickly?

'Why are you here?' I asked, not understanding the situation.

He kept his mouth shut as he stepped a little bit closer to me. Our chests were almost touching.

I could feel the heat coming from his body.

Oh damn…

The only thing I couldn't do was looking in his eyes. I just… could not do it.

I felt one of his hands embracing my cheek, asking me to look up. But I just closed my eyes.

His thumb softly stroke my bottom lip in which was a deep cut surrounded by a small bruise. One of the presents my father had given me.

I squeezed my eyes more shut, trying not to let the tears come out.

All I really wanted to do was scream my lungs out and cry in front of Sebastian.

I clenched my fists as I tried to ignore the pain that was forming in my chest.

'What happened to you?' Sebastian asked me softly.

Stop touching me…

'Why are you doing this?' his voice whispered.

Don't look at me…

'Look at me, please?' his words floated through the air towards my direction.

Don't…

'Rory…'

I threw myself at the boy across me, clenching my hands at his shirt, burying my face in his chest as started crying.

I stifled my screams in Sebastian's chest as he pulled me closer to him.

Sebastian stroke my hair softly as he held me.

He didn't say anything, nothing to make me feel better.

That's what made this feel so real.

The tears kept streaming down my cheeks, I couldn't stop them.

Screams rolled of my lips without me having any control over them.

I felt so powerless.

I was so… tired of this all.

Sebastian placed a small kiss on my forehead before he placed his cheek on my hair.

Oh god…

I needed this. I needed someone. I needed Sebastian.

The grip on his shirt got tighter as I tried to pull Sebastian as close as I possibly could, trying to tell him something.

In the back of my head it made me wonder what I was trying to tell him.

Sebastian just held me close.

Slowly my screams stopped, my tears didn't come anymore and my grip loosened up.

But the Warbler still held his arms around me.

The warmth of his embrace felt so sweet. I never wanted him to let go of me anymore.

As I dried my face a little with the back of my hand I looked up at Sebastian.

I was shocked to see his own face.

Tears were forming in the corners of his beautiful green eyes.

'Why… are you crying?' I asked thunderstruck and with a sore voice as I took my other hand of off his drenched shirt.

Sebastian got a small smile on his face.

'I can't stand to see you cry,' Sebastian told me with his eyes locked with mine.

That didn't make any sense at all.

This whole event didn't make sense! It was around what? Nine o'clock here in America? And I was crying my eyes out in some dudes arms just outside of the airport…

This was insane.

As I blinked I noticed my eyes had wondered off to somewhere behind Sebastian, so I looked back at his face again.

'I've missed you,' the guy said to me in a soft tone as he grabbed my hand and locked our fingers.

Had I missed him? In the same way as he had missed me?

I didn't know how to response.

My head was one pool of misery right now.

I put my hand behind his neck and pulled Sebastian closer to me.

I pressed my lips against his and he responded in a split second. Sebastian pulled my body closer to his.

As I felt our hips touching I pressed myself against him.

Sebastian opened his mouth with a soft moan and I slipped my tongue in it, circling it around his.

Our kiss was slowly, sweet, comforting but in some way it also felt really needy.

I had missed this.

My hand went through his brown hair as my other hand was still lying in one of Sebastian's hands.

After a few more seconds Sebastian pulled away.

I placed my head against his chest and sighed.

Sebastian laid his head on mine.

'Come home with me,' he said in hair.

I closed my eyes again.

'Why,' I asked, keeping my voice in one tone.

'Because I don't think putting on a mask right now will do you any good,' Sebastian told me.

I wished I had never taken it off around you.

'I'll get through it,' I said to him.

'No, not tonight.'

I kept quiet.

'I'm just gonna worry the shit out of myself if can't see you,' Sebastian truth gully told me.

'Why would you worry about me?' I didn't understand him.

'Don't say that,' the boy whispered in my ear. 'You know you mean something to me. I was so scared I might have lost you when I yelled at you.'

I had to swallow one time before I could say something back.

'Me running off wasn't your fault. I just… couldn't handle anyone around me at that moment,' I answered him emotionless.

'I'm still sorry.'

'Don't be.'

Sebastian kissed my forehead once again before he placed his own against mine.

'Please? Come with me?'

'Sure.'

'Thanks.'

He rubbed his nose against mine, but I kept my eyes closed.

'I have to call the Pears, tell them my flight got canceled. I'll tell them I couldn't catch them on the phone earlier or something,' I told Sebastian my excuse.

'That's fine,' he told me. 'We'll call them in a few minutes.'

I felt his lips pressed against mine for a second, but then they left again.

'How can you care about me? I'm worthless,' I whispered, wondering about his answer.

'You're not worthless!' Sebastian said and pulled away a bit from me.

I refused to open my eyes.

'I am. I'm a worthless piece of shit. I'm a mess. I'm a monster, Sebastian,' I said as I squeezed my eyes again. 'Why can't you see that?!'

'Oh Rory,' Sebastian said, his voice sounding compassionately. 'How can you say that about yourself…'

'It's the fucking truth!' I yelled as tears starting streaming over my face again.

My whole body was trembling. I clenched my fists.

'It's not. You may be a mess, but you're not a monster,' Sebastian told me.

'Why can't you see it, Sebastian?! LOOK AT ME!' I screamed.

'I am, Rory,' Sebastian said as he pulled me close again. 'But the only thing I see is a troubled person who has been through way to much shit, yet he seems so perfect to me.'

* * *

**So… what are your thoughts about this one? Reviews?**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks for the lovely reviews! :D**

**that makes it worth it ^^**

**I hope you'll like the 16th chapter!**

**Here it is:**

* * *

Sebastian lowered himself front of me, his eyes looking frantically at my face.

I didn't look back, I just kept on staring out of the window.

'Are you sure you don't wanna catch some sleep? I mean after all the flying…,' Sebastian asked me for the fifth time this evening.

It was around eleven o 'clock and especially with some kind of jetlag I should be pretty tired, but I wasn't.

Or maybe I was… I just didn't want to go to bed and let all my thoughts and emotions come out.

Not again.

As I shook my head as an answer I sighed a little.

Sebastian stroke my cheeks softly, making me look at him from the corners from my eyes.

That small smile gave me a funny feeling inside.

'You?' I was really talk-able this evening. I just asked him if he wasn't tired.

'No, I don't need sleep if I can see your face,' he flirted, making me roll my eyes and look back at the window again.

'Do you remember what happened last time you were here,' Sebastian asked me carefully.

'Yes,' I told him while nodding. 'Let's not… talk about it anymore.'

'I want you to tell me why you acted like that,' Sebastian said with an order-like tone in his voice.

'Not tonight, please,' I said tired.

I heard him move a bit, then felt his lips softly touching my forehead. I closed my eyes.

'When you're ready, Irish.' Damn, I had missed that nickname.

Sebastian stood up and walked over to his closet.

'Here,' he said after going through some clothes. 'It'll be a bit to long for you, though.'

The Warbler threw a pair of sweatpants towards me and a shirt.

He himself got his own set of clothes.

'Why…,' I started asking, but feeling too tired to finish my sentence I just stared at Sebastian.

'Since you don't wanna sleep, I figured we could just as well spent a night watching some movies on the couch,' the slightly older guy said with a generous smile.

I can't say no to that face, can I know?, I thought as I got up from the big windowsill.

Slowly undoing myself from my vest and shirt I felt myself shaking again.

As I picked the shirt up from the ground I saw how much my hands were trembling.

For no reason tears were forming in the corners of my eyes. I tried blinking them away, but it didn't really work.

Damn it!

As Sebastian's arms wrapped around my body from behind I gratefully let my body rest against his.

My breath sounded shaky.

Don't cry, silly,' Sebastian whispered in my ear. 'I've got you and I will not leave you. Ever.'

As I closed my eyes the tears started falling slowly.

'I don't… even know… why I'm crying…,' I said with a broken tone sounding through my voice.

'You're just confused,' Sebastian answered me.

Maybe he was right… I didn't understand anymore.

Sebastian turned me around and placed my face in his hands. That smile said it all.

No worries anymore tonight, it told me.

I nodded.

Sebastian pushed his lips onto mine, but it took me a few seconds before I kissed him back.

'C'mon on, let's watch some movies!' Sebastian said enthusiastically as we parted.

We undressed and redressed ourselves before we went down the stairs and into the living room.

As I turned on the lights in the room, Sebastian got some DVDs which lay right next to the TV.

'Here you go,' he said as he gave them to me. 'You choose.'

O god…

Singing In The Rain, West Side Story, A DVD from a Queen concert, Superman Returns, A few seasons from some shows and some more other weird movies.

Then I found the best thing ever.

'Here,' I said, showing no emotion when I gave Sebastian the movies I really wanted to see.

'Are you serious? I actually got these for my cousin, who's seven,' he started an argument and raised his eyebrows.

I nodded with the most serious look ever on my face.

'Toy Story 1 it is,' Sebastian said while blinking a few times from surprise.

The boy put on the movie and sat down next to me on the couch, leaning against me a little.

At first I kinda liked him sitting so close, but as we watched more and more of the movie I didn't care about Sebastian next to me anymore.

'Did you see that? Awesome right!' I said loudly and with a big smile on my face as I pointed to the screen.

'Sure,' Sebastian laughed. 'That's cool all right.' A cute laugh rolled of his lips.

I liked that sound.

But it distracted me from the movie so I shushed Sebastian without even looking at him.

'You're such a child,' the guy next to me complained and I heard he was just playing with me.

'Shut up,' I said with a frown as I stared intensively at the scenes, but at the same time I grabbed his hand and locked our fingers.

'We're gonna watch the second one as well, you know,' I informed Sebastian absently.

'What?'

I wasn't gonna answer him.

'Do we have to? I mean… can't we watch something a bit better?' the guy whined.

'Better? There's nothing better than Toy Story! It's awesome!' I told him and pulled my eyes away from the screen to look at him.

'It's animated! That's for small children,' Sebastian argued with me.

There it was again, that cocky smile of his.

'So what? The story's still great!' I said with an frown on my face. 'What's wrong with you…?'

'Who knows,' Sebastian smiled as he quickly leaned forward and stole a kiss from me.

I blinked surprised. Hadn't seen that one coming.

'You're slow,' Sebastian teased me and tipped me on my nose. 'How cute!'

'I'll show you cute,' I snarled and jumped towards him.

'Woah!' Sebastian screamed and he grabbed me at my arms. We were fighting a bit all over the couch and eventually dropped off of it.

'Ow!' Sebastian whined as his elbow hit the table. 'Shit…'

As I was on top of him, I got up in a sitting position and looked at his elbow which he showed me.

'Is it bleeding?' he asked me with a painful look on his face.

'A bit, yes,' I said in surprise. Had we fallen that hard? Sebastian moved up a bit.

'Get off me, I'm gonna get a plaster or something,' Sebastian said as he gave a small push at my stomach.

But I didn't move.

'Dude!' Sebastian said as he looked at me with a confused smile. 'Get off!'

'No.'

'Why not, Rory, c'mon,' he said grinning, but a part of his voice sounded serious.

'No, not yet,' I said and put a finger against his chest.

'Why not?'

'I want something first,' I quietly spoke as I started pushing his upper body back on the ground.

Sebastian sighed annoyed. Maybe his elbow hurted more than I thought it did.

Not that I cared that much.

And he figured that out as well.

With a sneaky smile I put myself onto him and looked into his eyes.

Sebastian stayed quiet as he looked back into mine. We stayed like that for a few seconds.

With my finger I was making small circles on his cheek, playing around a bit.

But Sebastian didn't seem to mind about his elbow anymore, which was funny to notice.

My smile grew wider.

'I like that,' Sebastian said quietly and his eyes were looking at my mouth.

So I leaned in and gave him a small, passionate kiss on his sweet lips.

Sebastian chuckled a bit as I pulled away again. With one hand I stroke through his untamed hair which became messier and messier as I kept playing with it.

'That wasn't what I meant.'

With a frown forming on my forehead I tried to lock eyes with Smythe, but his eyes were too busy looking at my lips.

'Sorry?' I asked, not understanding what he was saying.

'I was talking about that smile, it fits you,' Sebastian told me in a sweet voice.

He moved up a bit and kissed me quickly.

'Now please get off me?' he asked with puppy-eyes. I nodded with a small smile and got up.

'Thank you,' Sebastian said polity as he got off the ground and walked to the kitchen.

Without a good reason I followed him like a puppy.

I watched as he cleaned his small wound with a wet towel. As he tried to put a plaster on it.

But he couldn't do it.

With a sigh I walked up to him and took the damn thing out of his hands.

'Keep still,' I said as I tried to put it on there.

'I am!'

'No, you're shaking!'

'I am not!'

'You are… now look! It's messed up…'

'You just suck at it.'

'You two.'

We looked at each other with a goofy smile.

'I'm gonna try again,' I warned him and without giving him the space to say anything I ripped the thing of his elbow.

Sebastian let out a surprised and painful scream.

I smiled at him as I put the plaster on him again, doing it right this time.

'You're so-' Sebastian started, but I didn't let him finish as I kissed him again. And again and again.

Sebastian grabbed me at my wrists and pushed me up against the refrigerator.

I opened my mouth to let his tongue slip into it, moaning as it did so.

The Warbler pushed his hips forcefully against mine. I wrapped one of legs around his and tried to get him even closer to me. Sebastian let go of my hands and I placed one on Sebastians cheek.

And all of a sudden I pushed him away from me and ran out of the kitchen.

'Fuck you, Sebastian, fuck you!' I screamed.

I heard his footsteps behind me running into the living room.

'What's wrong?' The guy asked me his voice full of wondering.

'Don't try to fool me!' I said with an angry tone as I jumped on the couch. 'We will watch Toy Story 2. You're not getting away like that!'

'Dude… you're the worst,' Sebastian laughed as he sat down next to me.

As I hit the remote and the movie started playing, I crawled up closely with him and rested my head on his chest.

'You're lovely, you know,' Sebastian said as he placed his cheek on top of my head.

'Don't distract me again,' I warned him.

And with a funny feeling inside I softly muttered: 'You're nice to hang around with as well.'

* * *

**So, this one was a bit different from the others.**

**What did you think of this chapter? Reviews please? (:**


	17. Chapter 17

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**I'm happy you like the sweeter / happier chapter! :D**

**Here's chapter 17 !**

* * *

As I woke up I found myself lying rather uncomfortable.

With sleepy eyes I looked up a bit, seeing Sebastian's face. He was still asleep.

So… we fell asleep on the couch, great. Now my muscles were hurting a bit.

But, I didn't really wanna get up.

I mean, being crawled up at Sebastian's chest was really nice…

Guess I'll wait for him to wake up too then, I thought as I yawned and closed my eyes again.

But I wasn't planning on sleeping again, just relaxing a bit.

Without thinking. I loved that.

Yeah…

Like not having to remember some weird shit or thinking about these crazy feelings inside of me…

Or the fact that my emotions were pretty messed up since I got home last night.

Yeah…

'O god, wake up for god's sake!' I yelled at Sebastian and roughly shook at his shoulder.

'Wow! What? Something wrong?' Sebastian asked with huge eyes and looked at me with a scared expression.

Oops, after my breakdown I might not want to have done that now… whatever.

'I'm not tired, let's do something,' I tried to make my way out of this.

'Dude…,' Sebastian yawned at me tiredly. 'Let me sleep some more…'

The Warbler pushed me off a bit and got comfortable at the couch. With my eyes I searched around the room. What to do then…

'I'm gonna call the Pears, that'll be home around tonight,' I told him.

'You go do that.'

'And I'll make some breakfast.'

'Sounds great.'

'Or I'll read that book you don't like and make breakfast for both of us in a hour or more.'

'Sure.'

'And- '

'RORY! IN FUCKS NAME GO DO SOMETHING!'

I jumped off the couch, damn he was grumpy in the morning.

At first I grabbed my phone, which was lying on the table, and started dialing the home number of the Pears.

I moved myself to the kitchen so I wouldn't disturb the already sleeping boy on the couch.

'With Britanny Pears?' sounded the sweetest voice I knew.

'Hey Brit it's Rory!' I started and quickly told her that my "Flight" was about to leave this afternoon and I'd be in America around nine.

'Great!' she yelled enthusiastic, 'I can't wait to see you, Leprechaun! We really, really have to do another movie night!'

I chuckled at the phone.

'Yeah we will, I promise,' I said to her. 'I'll see you around nine at the airport then.'

And I ended the conversation.

After that I got back to the living room and got a book out of the shelf.

I loved to read when I was here.

Sebastian got some pretty interesting books from his family or from school to study.

Some about the human body, about singing or instruments, music genres or about the human mind.

This one was a biography about Elvis, which was pretty cool!

I sat down in front of the couch and started reading where I had left off the last time.

With every page I turned I quickly shot a glance at Sebastian, who kept sleeping peacefully.

He looked really adorable…

I shook my head as I read the next page.

I read about two chapters before I put the book away again and when I made my way to the kitchen to go make breakfast I fleetingly stroke through Sebastian's hair.

As I looked into his fridge and the cabinets to see what food he had in here, I decided that some sort of English breakfast would be pretty neat.

So I went with that, baking some eggs, bacon, sausages and some baked bread.

Too bad he didn't have any beans!

I Putted them on the table, which I had beautifully cover if I did say so myself.

Then I quickly made my way to the living room again and kneeled down in front of Sebastian.

For a split second I looked at his beautiful face, but then I leaned in and gave a soft kiss on his lips.

'Yo, Bastian, wake up,' I whispered and shook his shoulder softly.

He just moaned and wobbled a bit.

'Come on! Smell the food!' I tried with a grin.

'No… let me sleep…,' Sebastian groaned. 'Fuck off.'

'That's not nice of you,' I teased and rubbed my nose against his. 'Get up, punk. Or I'm gonna drag you off this couch.'

'Don't you even try,' Sebastian warned me and his eyes shot open.

Oh it was on!

I forcefully grabbed Sebastian around his waist and pulled him towards me, so he landed on top of me.

'WOAH!' We both screamed, I should have known this wasn't a smart idea as I wasn't standing myself.

'Idiot!' Sebastian laughed on top of me. 'You're crazy!'

I smiled at him and he locked eyes with me.

Feeling how he took my hand in his and locked our fingers, I couldn't help but wonder why my stomach was feeling so twisty and jumpy.

So weird…

'I like you,' Sebastian said with a smile on his face.

He leaned in and I closed my eyes as I felt his lips touching against mine. They felt really warm.

I let my hand run through his hair.

Sebastian opened his mouth and I slid my tongue in it so I could play with his.

A soft moan escaped my mouth as I felt Sebastian pushing his body closer against mine, his legs tangled up around mine and his other hand went underneath my shirt.

Damn…

I kissed him harder, pushed my hips more up against those from him and pulled at his hair.

Sebastian responded and I could feel him smiling in our kiss.

But… something stopped me from trying to rip his clothes off and Sebastian noticed that as well.

He pulled back and stroke my cheek softly as he looked at me.

I looked in his beautiful green eyes, but a smile couldn't form on my face.

The Warblers eyes told me not to look so sad, I could read it in them, but I couldn't help it.

Something was not right…

What was wrong with me? Since when did I not want to go further with a guy?

With Sebastian for god's sake! This was fucking insane!

Out of frustration in bit on my bottom lip and looked away from Sebastian.

I was trying to stop the tears from forming in my eyes, which always happened when I got frustrated about myself.

His thumb stroke my cheeks and I felt his lips connecting with mine for a second.

'You made breakfast you said?'

I looked back at him, seeing Sebastian smile.

For some reason that smile made me forget about my thoughts.

'Yeah, you'll like it,' I said as we got up.

'Good! 'Cause I'm starving!' Sebastian complained as we walked to the kitchen.

Our hands didn't let go of each other.

* * *

**Yeah I know It's a bit shorter, but it's because this chapter is less dramatic!**

**Next one will be a bit longer! (:**

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	18. Chapter 18

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**Especially the ones from **Alayne**and **Kaito-kuuun** ! They were amazing, made my day! :D**

**This is another songchapter **

**Heeeere you go with the next chapter^^:**

* * *

I was still drying of my hair as I walked out of the bathroom.

Hell had I needed that shower.

As I walked down the stairs I wondered where Sebastian was, but my attention was being caught by something else.

I heard some beautiful piano sounds dancing around the house.

Curiously I walked down the hallway, seeing that there was another door. I had never noticed that…

Carefully I opened it and took one step into the room.

It was just as bright as the other rooms around here. There was one really, really gigantic window on the other side of where I was standing.

Inside of the room I found lots of instruments. Some amazing guitars, a drum and I even noticed some flutes on a table. As well as the flutes there was a pack of paper on which were a lot of words and musical notes.

But the best was sitting in the corner, behind the piano where he was playing on.

Slowly and quietly I made my way to him.

I watched as Sebastian's hand flew over the keys 'causing the gorgeous sounds that hit my ears.

It wasn't like I knew what he was playing, but it was beautiful no matter what.

And seeing him play was wonderful too.

Sebastian was really enjoying himself.

After something like a minute Sebastian ended the song and turned around with one of the biggest smiles on his face I had ever seen.

'What did you think of it?' he asked me, grinning like a fool.

'That was good,' I said, trying not to let it slip through what kind of impression it had left behind.

Just teasing the guy, of course.

'I hoped you were gonna say that,' Sebastian said with a sincere smile playing on his lips.

I raised an eyebrow.

'I said good,' I told him again. Didn't he feel like I was underestimating him?

Sebastian nodded.

'Do you play?' he asked me as I kept silent. I gave a small nod.

'Piano?'

'No, guitar.'

'Play for me!' Sebastian screamed enthusiastic. 'I always wanted to play it, but I never learned it!'

A devilish grin formed on my face.

'Should I teach you?' I asked.

'Tempting, very tempting,' Sebastian said as he got up. 'Now show me, please?'

We walked over to the other side of the room and Smythe picked up an acoustic guitar.

He handed it to me.

I looked around for a seat. A few feet away from me was a chair, so I sat down and Sebastian placed himself onto the floor.

'Well sir, do you have any suggestions?' I asked the Warbler as I was tuning the guitar a bit.

'Not really,' Smythe smiled. 'Just pick one you know.'

As I kept tuning I was thinking of a song.

Avril Lavigne songs were songs I always enjoyed playing.

'Avril Lavigne?' I suggested and I saw Sebastian raising his eyebrows at me. 'What? I like her!'

'I never really listen to Avril Lavigne.'

'Shame on you!'

'Just play the damn song, man,' Sebastian mumbled at me, clearly not expecting me that I listened to her.

Tomorrow was a beautiful song to play, one I had practiced really hard on.

So I went with that one.

I placed my fingers on the right strings and I strummed.

Automatically my voice joined in.

"_And I wanna believe you,  
When you tell me that it'll be ok,  
Yeah I try to believe you,  
But I don't"_

Our eyes met for a second and I could read the surprise in Sebastian's.

_"When you say that it's gonna be,  
It always turns out to be a _different_ way,  
I try to believe you,  
Not today, today, today, today, today..._

_I don't know how I'll feel,  
tomorrow, tomorrow, tomooorrow,  
And I don't know what to say,  
tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow  
Is a different day_

_Tomorrow"_

As I locked eyes with Sebastian again, it seemed like he knew why I liked this song.

That was a bit surprising, since I had taken a long time finding out what about the lyrics hit me back when I first heard it.

"It's always been up to you,  
It's turning around It's up to me,  
I'm gonna do what I have to do,  
just don't

Gimme a little time,  
Leave me alone a little while,  
Maybe it's not too late,  
not today, today, today, today, today... ooohoo"

Part of it had been that I never wanted to understand why I felt so connected to these words.

But inside of me I had always known why.

"I don't know how I'll feel,  
tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow  
I don't know what to say,  
tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow  
Is a different day

Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready,  
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow

Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah yeah yeah, I'm not ready,  
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow"

Fighting against the tears in my eyes I played the instrumental part a bit longer, improvising a bit.

_"And I wanna believe you,  
When you tell me that it'll be okay,  
Yeah I try to believe you,  
Not today, today, today, today, today..."_

Fuck it. Let's cry a freaking river.

_"Tomorrow it may change_

_Tomorrow it may change_

_Tomorrow it may change_

_Tomorrow it may change…"_

Final strum.

At the end of the song my voice had broken down as well, but I didn't feel the need to care about it anymore.

Crying in this house felt safe, comfortable.

I put away the guitar with care and whipped the tears from my cheeks.

Hearing him move, I knew Sebastian was walking up to me, but I didn't look up at him.

Not yet.

I felt his hand been put on my shoulder and I saw how he bend down in front of me.

'That was good,' Sebastian grinned at me with his cocky smile.

It made me smile. Maybe a little, but it was a smile after all.

'Sorry,' I mentioned about my tears. 'This-'

'Don't say sorry idiot!' Sebastian said loudly. 'I'm happy you're feeling at home around here. Otherwise you couldn't cry in front of me.'

'I've never felt more at home anywhere else,' I whispered as I dried my eyes with my sleeve.

Silence.

Sebastian put his arms around my shoulders and pulled be close.

I buried my eyes in his shoulder, but crying wasn't necessary.

'You little fool,' Sebastian whispered as he placed a soft kiss in my hair.

I smiled some more.

'Thanks,' I mumbled in his shirt, though it might have sounded understandable. 'Those are very nice words to hear from you.'

Sebastian chuckled.

'You know me, don't you,' he joked around making me trying to roll my eyes, which was pretty hard given this situation.

'I don't know that much about you, you know,' Sebastian then said and I sighed knowing these words would have come around sooner or later.

Especially since fight before I left home.

'I know,' I answered without putting any form of feeling in my words.

'Would you… like to tell me about yourself?' Sebastian asked as he pushed me away a bit from him, yet he was still holding me.

I looked away from him and sniffed softly.

This was a question I had always said no to. No matter who asked me.

I didn't tell James or Jeremy my shit … not even did I tell Alex everything anymore. And that were my best friends or at least the where the closest people I had to call friends.

Just because if they ever were to leave me hanging, they would know stuff about me they could use against me.

So I didn't tell anyone anything anymore.

'Rory?'

I looked back at Sebastian, seeing the worry written all over his face. I had zoned out for a minute again…

'I…,' I tried. I wanted to explain everything. Tell everything.

But I couldn't.

Just the thought of telling Sebastian everything was making me sick.

I placed my head in my hands and sighed deeply.

'You don't have to!' Sebastian quickly said. 'Whenever you're ready, remember?'

'What if… I'll never be ready, Sebastian?' I asked, looking up with the misery clearly readable in my eyes.

The Warbler smiled at me.

'You will be, one day. I know you will,' Sebastian told me and kissed me on my forehead. 'I never thought I would care about someone again and look what you did to me. I don't think I could ever feel more for one person than you. Ever.'

Very fast I placed my lips onto his, squeezing my eyes shut at the same time. A single tears streamed down my cheek.

Sebastian kissed me back and pulled me down from the chair onto the ground.

I placed my legs around Sebastian's hips and pulled him as close to me as I ever could.

A small moan sounded from the other boy's mouth as I let my tongue slip into it.

That sound made me feel so warm inside.

But as Sebastian let his hand slip underneath my shirt I froze.

'Is… something wrong?' Sebastian asked me as we parted and I looked away from his eyes.

We still held each other, though.

'I… really don't know,' I told him confused. A frown formed on my face.

Since he had taken me here from the airport we hadn't really... done anything intimate except for some kissing and pressing ourselves against each other.

We hadn't had sex.

That was… strange given the fact that we used to do it a million times a day before I left.

'Don't worry your pretty head,' Sebastian smiled at me and caressed my cheek.

I looked in his beautiful green eyes.

'Let's go to the store, buy Toy Story three or something,' Sebastian said and rolled his eyes while grinning.

He hated those movies.

'How do you do it?' I asked him seriously.

'How do I do what?' Smythe asked me in surprise.

'Being who you are? You're so good for me,' I mumbled and placed my forehead against his.

Sebastian chuckled.

'I'm trying, you know why,' Sebastian told me as I closed my eyes.

Because he cared about me. I knew that.

Did I care about him as well? Did I want to cause a smile on his face just as desperate as he wanted that for me?

My head was starting to pound.

'You fool,' Sebastian told me once again. 'You know I'll be here for you, right? That means I'll help you with everything. Every fucking thing.'

My eyes shot open.

'You can't fix something that is broken,' I told him emotionless.

'Oh you better not doubt me Flanagan,' Sebastian warned me with a serious tone.

How did he do that? Make me feel like he meant what he said.

Making me think that Sebastian could really, really fix a broken object?

Wow.

'You are…,' I wanted him so desperate to know what I thought of him.

You are perfect. You are the best thing that had ever come into my life!

But those words seemed so… unbelievable to say. So illogic…

As Sebastian tightened his grip around my waist he gave me a quick peck on my lips.

'Give it a try,' he whispered softly with his lips almost connected with mine. 'Just try.'

'You are… wonderful to me, Sebastian,' I whispered back.

Our lips touched again slightly. And again. And again.

I pressed mine harder onto Sebastian's.

What I was feeling inside right now was something I couldn't describe. I felt so unreal.

Whatever it was, I didn't wanna know about it.

All I knew was that I wanted Sebastian to never ever let me go again.

Never.

* * *

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	19. Chapter 19

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* * *

Don't you just hate when you wake up in the middle of the night?

Your whole body is sweating, your heart is beating rapidly fast and your breathing sounds heavy.

Yeah... A nightmare was always fun.

'Rory, are you alright?' Sebastian asked me worried as his eyes wandered over me.

'Just a dream,' I told him with a shaky voice.

I sat right up in bed and Sebastian did the same.

I swiped the sweat off of my forehead.

'Should I go get you some water?' The other boy asked me and was already making an attempt to climb out of bed.

'No... I'm fine,' I told him and turned around slightly.

'Look at me, Rory,' Sebastian ordered me.

But I didn't.

Staring at the guy's hands seemed like a better plan.

'Rory?'

I hated that caring tone of his so much sometimes.

'I'm going to sleep again,' I said emotionless and laid back down with my back turned towards Sebastian.

'Whatever you want,' the Warbler said a bit irritated.

I listened as Sebastian fell asleep again.

Hearing his calm breathing made me relax.

It didn't take long after before I fell into a deep sleep again.

And my nightmares returned.

_I blink a few times before I realize what is going on._

_Why do I have to go to the principal? _

_'What did you this time man?' Alex bends over my desk and asks me._

_'I really don't have a clue,' I tell him._

_'ALEX, TURN AROUND NOW!' our overwrought teacher yells at my friend._

_Alex gives me a smile and turns around in his seat._

_'Flanagan, go,' She orders me with a tired voice._

_Always my surname..._

_I grab my stuff, get up from my seat and walk out of the classroom._

_I am pretty sure I hadn't done anything wrong!_

_I knock on the door._

_'Come on in,' a voice sounds and I do as I was told._

_'Ah Mr. Flanagan,' the principal says as he sees me. 'Please, have a seat.'_

_He was never this nice to me, what is going on here?_

_Once again I do what the man tells me to do, slightly confused._

_My principal is looking at me in such a weird way it's freaking me out._

_'Excuse me sir, but why did I have I come?' I ask as politely as I have never done._

_The middle-aged man sighs deeply._

_O god... _

_A million of scenes are flashing through my brain as I try to figure what he had found out._

_'I'm not sure how to tell you this easily, Rory,' the man starts._

_My... First name?_

_'It's about your little sister.'_

_My world stops spinning right here and now._

_'She's had an accident.'_

_my body is frozen, all I can do is stare at the man behind the desk._

_'A big accident I'm afraid.'_

_No... No... Not Evy._

_Please, God not Evy! Don't you dare taking her away from me as well!_

_Tears start to form in the corners of my eyes, but I blink them away._

_'Where is she?' I ask with as less emotion as I can._

_My eyes are looking at the man's chest._

_'Evy got hit by a truck on the road.'_

_'Sir, tell me where she is, please?' I beg._

_'Her cond-'_

_'WHERE IS SHE?' I desperately scream. My eyes are looking directly into those from the principal. He can see how I feel._

_How much I need to know this._

'_Evy is been brought to the hospital just outside of town,' he tells me calmly. 'Go.'_

_Thankfully I nod once and then I quickly leave the room._

_I have to see her now, I have to see her now, I have to see her now, is all I can think as I run out of school._

_In the back of my mind all kinds of things were going through my head._

_Like what had happened? How did she get in an accident? What if people would notice about her drugs use? Oh god, Evy you really messed up this time!_

All of the sudden, my whole surroundings changed and I felt how all my emotions got mixed up.

_It doesn't take long before I am in the hospital asking the counter girl where my little sister is._

'_O, the truck accident girl,' the quite young woman mumbles as she is reading the file on the computer. 'Poor thing. C'mon I'll take you to her room and fill you in a bit.'_

_She gives me a beautiful smile, but it doesn't hit me._

_As we start walking the woman, who's named Kaitlin if I believe her nametag, start telling me about Evy._

'_As you know she has multifocal fractures in her left leg. Her left arm was bruised, but that will turn out okay,' she reads off from the paper she's holding._

'_Has she woken up yet?' I ask worried. When I got here two days ago the doctors had told me they didn't know when she'd wake up._

'_Not yet,' Kaitlin tells me but a serious look grows upon her face. 'But there is something else we want to talk about with your parents, but we couldn't reach them by phone. Will you tell them to come by this evening?' _

'_She isn't my parent,' I say disgusted. 'But I'll tell them, sure.'_

'_Thank you,' Kaitlin tells me with a genuine smile._

_I keep silent._

_She places a hand on my back and guides me down the hallway telling me we're almost there._

_I hate how the always change her room. I always have to ask someone to take me to her and most of the time they'd stay with me in her room._

_Like I want that._

'_Here you go,' Kaitlin tells me as she opens a door and guides me inside of it._

'_Thank you,' I say to her, but instead of leaving she walks in as well and places herself in a chair next to the bed of my sister._

_Great._

'_Hey Evy,' I whisper before I place a soft kiss on my sisters forehead. _

_Of course there was no response._

'_What is it you found out about her?' I ask a with a bit of tension running through my veins._

_Like I don't know what it was already._

_Kaitlin keeps quiet and stares at my sister's unmoving body._

'_Tell me?' I ask as I look at her eyes. Eventually she looks at my face as well._

_The young nurse bites down on her bottom lip, not knowing if she can tell me._

'_I am her brother,' I beg the women and I grab the edge of the bed tightly._

_She sighs._

'_We've found drugs in her system,' Kaitlin then tells me and she looks into my eyes as she does._

_I knew it. Damn it Evy…_

_I nod and on my face there was no emotion to be found._

'_Do you about that?' she asks me and gets up from her seat, slowly making her way towards me._

'_I do,' I softly whisper as I close my eyes._

'_And your dad?'_

'_Yeah he does too. But he doesn't care about my sister.' That no-emotion like thing I do is making her confused. Not that that bothers me. _

_She doesn't need to know how painful this is for me._

'_Can I ask your name?' Kaitlin than asked me and with a frown I look at her face._

_But she just stares at my sisters arm._

'_Rory,' I tell as I understand it._

I jumped up again, feeling how my breath was heavily again.

A glass of water felt like the best idea I had ever had. I shot a glance at the boy next to me, but Sebastian was still asleep.

Really quiet so I wouldn't wake him up I got out of bed and dressed myself in a pair of dark sweatpants of his.

Carefully to not make a sound I walked down the stairs and made my way to the kitchen.

My hand was really shaky as I was filling the glass with water.

And drinking from it was more difficult than I had thought it would be.

Damn memories.

All of a sudden I felt really glad that I got to spend the night at Sebastian's. If this would have happened at the Pears house I wonder what I would have done.

Around here I didn't need to wear a mask. Not ever.

Or… didn't I have to wear one when I was around Sebastian? That seemed more like it.

Yet it still did. Not all the time anymore, but certainly a lot.

I softly ran my hand over my face and squeezed a bit in my eyes. Gosh what was wrong with me tonight?

Everything was so messy again.

Wait, scrap that. Inside of me I it was always messy.

Hah, sucks to be me!

My thoughts got interrupted as I heard footsteps sounding from the room next to the kitchen.

I guess I had woken Sebastian up after all. Shit happens.

'Are you okay?' I heard the said boy ask with a sleepy voice as he walked in the room.

No response.

'Rory?' he asked me a bit more awake as he slowly walked up to me.

'Yeah… I just can't sleep, that's all,' I mumbled as I put the glass down on the table and leaned back against the sink.

'Dude it's four in the morning, how can you not sleep,' Sebastian told me with a small smile as he stroke through his hair.

I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the ground with my arms crossed over one-another.

'You're weird,' Sebastian smiled at me as was standing in front of me.

'You're not the one to say that,' I told him with a small smile. He was the one that fell for something like me after all.

'Now tell me the truth, please?' Sebastian said as he tried to look into my eyes.

I wouldn't let him. The smile that had formed faded from my face again.

'C'mon Rory,' Sebastian said and softly grabbed my chin. 'You can't keep a secret from me.'

Damn, he was pretty right.

I pulled my face out of his hand and instead I placed it on his shoulder and sighed deep.

Sebastian pulled me a bit closer.

'I hate dreaming,' I mumbled as I squeezed my eyes shot. 'It sucks, man.'

'What are you dreams about?' Sebastian asked curiously.

Silence.

Should I tell him? Or not… I didn't know what to do.

It was all so complicated!

For some reason Sebastian seemed to understand that I was seriously considering things, since he kept his mouth shut for a few minutes.

I haven't told anyone about my life in a long time anymore. Not even my best friends understood everything that was going on.

What made Sebastian so different that I was thinking about telling him even anything about my life?

My stomach was twirling around for a bit, weird feelings.

I looked up into those wonderful green eyes above me and I couldn't help but feel how all my thoughts got interrupted by them.

Everything around me, inside of me, stopped just by looking in Sebastian's eyes.

'You…,' I whispered as I leaned in to kiss him on his lips. Sebastian kissed me back and as he did I felt his grip around me tighten quite a bit.

I placed my hands on his hips as I pulled back again.

That look on his face. What was it? Pride? Worry? Happiness? I had no clue. It just felt like a big mix of everything.

It was confusing me.

Sebastian leaned in again and connected his lips with mine. For a few seconds I didn't respond, but after that I kissed him back, pushing myself away from the sink as I did so.

Then I parted. We let go of each other.

'I had a nightmare,' I told him. 'Or… more like memory from a few years ago.'

Sebastian just looked at me in silence.

'I'll tell you, about everything,' I spoke without letting my eyes go off of his. 'Everything.'

'I think I can handle that,' Sebastian told me as he grabbed my hand and locked our fingers.

He gave a smile full of courage.

'You better,' I said as I pulled him with me to the living room.

We seated ourselves on the couch.

'How do I start this…,' I wondered as I let my eyes fly across the room.

'How about why you've come to America?' Sebastian suggested. 'Just by looking at you I'm pretty sure it's not because you like it here.'

'That's true,' I grinned. 'I actually promised my little sister I'd go here.'

'You've got a sister?' Sebastian asked me with jumpy eyebrows. I had to tell him a lot…

'Yeah and a stepmom,' I said. 'And something which is supposed to be a dad.'

'Let's start with that,' Sebastian said and he grabbed my hand softly.

With a deep sigh I started.

'My father has always been pretty violent. Especially against my little sister Evy. She's fifteen now and-'

'Violent?' Sebastian interrupted me with a huge frown on his face.

As I nodded I told him: 'Yeah. I never got to know why he did it... why he does it to be precisely. My mom told me when I was little that he had always been like that ever since they got me and my sister.'

'That sounds awful,' Sebastian said in disbelief. He grabbed my hand as a sign of support.

I looked at our connected hands as I continued my story.

'Our father got worse when I was ten and Evy was just eight. Right after my mom got murdered. We-'

'Murdered?!' the Warbler screamed out in surprise. 'Why haven't you ever told me about that?'

Surprise caught me.

'You don't know a thing about me except for the fact that I'm gay and Irish...'

Sebastian blinked once.

'That's true...,' he softly spoke and I could hear the sadness in his voice.

I took his chin in my hand and brought his lips to mine and placed a soft peck on them.

'Sorry, go on,' the slightly older boy said.

'Well... My mother told me when I was nine about how she had always stayed with dad because of me and Evy. But she couldn't do it anymore.

She was trying to get away from him, find a new house far away from him. She was planning on getting us out as well, you know, with getting child support help and stuff.

Police and shit.'

It took me a second to continue, having to let out a deep sigh.

'Together with her own parents she was trying to arrange everything in secret, but my dad found out about it anyway. I only remember that when I got home from school one day she was totally beaten up and he was screaming all kind of things about never letting my grandparents in the house again.

That night I heard my mother cry like she had never cried before. She was screaming...'

I zoned out, remembering it. I could still hear those sounds in my ears.

Sebastian stroke my cheek, trying to get me back into reality.

'I... Ehm...yeah. Anyway, it was around two weeks after that incident that we got a call on saterday afternoon. My mom went to get some groceries.

As the police told us, two guys had walked up to her and tried to rob her whilst holding a gun aimed at her.

My mom struggled when one tried to take her purse from her and that other idiot shot out of fear of people hearing them.

She didn't die immediately, you know... People called and ambulance but in the time she was in it they... They were already too late. She had lost too much blood already...'

With the back of my hand I whipped away the tear streaming down my cheek. But soon more tears were forming and falling down my cheeks.

Sebastian made an attempt to pull me in his arms, but I shook my head.

Right now I didn't feel the need for any kind of human contact.

I took my hand out of his.

For a few minutes we sat in silence.

'Yeah... After that my dad just got worse. He wasn't like sad about it, but he... I guess he just couldn't handle her not being here anymore. My father sort of needed her in his life to stay a bit more stable than he was afterwards.

Yeah... And after her death he just didn't have someone to hold him back, so to speak.'

I sniffed.

'How about your stepmom?' Sebastian softly asked me and he grabbed my hand again, I let him.

I let out a soft chuckle and a sarcastic smile formed on my face.

'He met Angelica one year later. They got involved after two months and married soon after. Evy couldn't stand her, she felt like Angelica was replacing my mom.

I didn't know what to think about her back then. All I did knew was that I didn't like her, and she proved my feelings pretty fast.

She acted like a horrible person, she cursed at us about everything, treated us kids like trash. Meself and Evy had to do everything around the house. My father didn't slice back on the violence, but he didn't make it worse either.

I was smart enough to be away from home as much as I could, being on the streets was better than at home getting abused. Evy didn't agree. She wanted my dad to notice her as something more than a piece of shit, my sister didn't understand that my dad wasn't like the dads of her friends. She just didn't wanna see it. Evy told herself that if she would just do as our father said that he'd one day see the light. He would eventually understand how a good dad would act, so Evy let him hit her, kick her and stuff.'

Another sarcastic chuckle rolled off my lips. Stupid, naive Evy.

Sebastian squeezed my hand softly. I locked eyes with him for a second. Damn that guy knew just how to look at me to make sure I wouldn't start throwing with stuff.

'Your sister was just nine around then, she just wanted a father like figure. She didn't understand she'd never get one,' Sebastian told me and it actually surprised me that he could answer that mature about this subject.

'I know,' I told him as I nodded. 'When I was in Ireland these last days I had time to talk to Angelica. From the moment I saw her again after these months I knew she had changed. She told me she had and also why she doesn't wanna leave my dad.'

Sebastian kept quiet, but I knew he wanted to know more, I could see it from his body language.

'Why?' the said boy than asked me, wondering in his voice.

'She... Told me she loves him,' I then said, being confused about it. 'I shall never understand how she can love a monster like him. What I do understand now is that she acted the way she acted towards us back then was because she was in love with him. Angelica knew he was a complicated person but...'

'Blinded by love she wanted to stay with him really badly,' Sebastian ended my sentence and I nodded.

'She knows she was wrong though.'

'That's a start.'

We looked at each other for a minute or so.

No words got said. Just one long look.

'So... He did this to you when you were there, right,' that beautiful human being in front of me asked and he softly stroke just next to my eye and over my lip.

The bruises were still there, and I nodded.

'Asshole.'

I closed my eyes and fixed myself on his soft touch. Sebastian kept touching my face lightly.

'Go on,' he whispered in the meantime.

'Uhm..,' I tried to get my mind back straight. 'Well... I hung around outside on the streets with my friends, two twins Jeremy and James and my best friend Alex. We just run around town and do stupid things. Everything started off as a game, of course.

When we were really young we just played games on the street. And from the age around eleven we started to sneak into old, abandoned buildings. There we'd sit around, destroy old stuff, those kind of things.

And the older we got, the more badly we acted. The four of us started stealing stuff from stores and school. It all started of small, but as we got better at it we started sneaking into houses from people and steal stuff. We'd even just watched TV there and cook!'

I laughed a bit at those memories.

'Just crazy things to keep ourselves occupied, 'cause our parents and teachers told us we should do that. Keeping ourselves busy so we wouldn't bother people who actually had a change to do something with their lives.

In one of the abandoned places we kinda made a sort of house of our own from it, with the stuff we had stolen. We were a bit naive back then. Lots of people in our home town gave us dirty looks as we walked by, but we has a good time so it didn't really bother us.

I believe we were around fifteen when we started to notice that we could have fun with people as well. Alex had always been easily to get angry, and the moment you starting picking a fight with me you better be prepared as well.'

A small grin grew on my face as I remembered our after school fights, the laughs me and my friends had when we'd sit at our places afterwards, taking care of our injuries.

'It all started with some loser from one of my classes, who was making fun of the twins. That year they had come out at school for being bisexual, so lots of talking behind their backs was going on.

This dude was making a real problem of getting in the same dressing room as them for P.E. and having to undress in front of them. After school he and his friends were calling this fucking names and Jeremy was really upset about what they were saying.

So me, Alex and James took action. We kicked quite some ass that day...'

Sebastian was looking at me strangely.

I pulled up an eyebrow at him, wondering why he was looking at me like that.

'You're smiling like crazy, you know,' he informed me with a small, misunderstood smile.

'I...uhm...,' I uttered, unsure of how to explain that. 'It was kinda fun... Beating that bastard up...'

A loud laugh rolled off of Sebastian's lips.

He waved with is hand, telling me to continue the story.

'Yeah... That was our role in society. Alex was the one that once said we should go out drinking in a pub and stuff.

We were pretty bored one day, so we said yes to his proposal. And from that day on we kind of made it a habit to go out at least three times a week.

It was fun most of the time, drinking, fighting and fooling around with boys and girls, if you know what I mean.'

I raised one eyebrow with a dirty grin on my face, but Sebastian just raised both of his eyebrows.

'Girls too?' he asked me. With surprise I nodded.

'Yes, of course. Alex is straight, the twins are bi and I... Well I'm gay but... Sex is great, even with a girl!'

Sebastian was astonished, no he was shocked.

'O god, don't tell me you have never had sex with a girl?!' I screamed out loud and a hysterically loud laugh sounded right after it.

Tears were forming in the corners of my eyes from laughter and my stomach was starting to hurt.

'I just... Never liked the idea of it...,' Sebastian told me with a red face from embarrassment, which made me laugh even harder. 'Please, continue instead of laughing in my face.'

I nodded while still chuckling. But my laugh faded easily as I continued.

'But the longer we continued our lives like this, the worse it seemed to get. Of course we had been caught a few times when we tried to steal stuff. Police interfered more than once when there was a fight and at home nothing was going easy. The twins had lots of fights with their parents about their sexuality.

Alex, whose parents are almost always gone from home, developed a slight drinking problem. And my dad and stepmom... Well you know. My dad got more violent towards us and as my sister was getting older as well, she started realizing it was never going to turn out to be okay. But unlike me Evy stayed home and found another way to escape the horror back there.'

'O no,' Sebastian whispered, but I nodded. His thoughts were right.

'She started smoking at first, which I understood... But around thirteen she...

I found pills underneath her bed. I got really, really pissed and I broke our front door.

As she came home she denied that they were hers and my dad kicked both of us out of the house, literally.

Both of us didn't sleep at home that night.

Anyway, a few days later I saw Evy taking some pills together with some other junks. One of them was even sticking a needle in his arm at that moment.

I ran back to my dad's home and a bit in front of it I broke. I got furious. Trying to release my anger I started to hit a wall.'

My eyes were staring at one point on the floor, but I didn't see. It was as if I was back at that time and place.

I could even feel the tears streaming down my face, the warmth of the sun burning on my back as I felt my fist hitting the wall without feeling the pain.

'Evy walked up to me half an hour after I had seen her. She was acting fucked up. I got mad, pinned her at the wall. Asked what was wrong with her.

She laughed at me for crying... My little sister even asked me if I wanted a kiss from her...'

Sebastian pulled me close to him and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

As I touched my cheek I noticed they were wet again. I had been crying.

'The grownups didn't even bother to do something about it, you know? Not that I did anything either...

I just watched her getting worse. Every single fucking day. And I didn't do a thing. Not a single thing.'

'It's not your fault,' Sebastian whispered in my ear.

'You don't understand man...,' I cried. 'After those two years Evy couldn't take it anymore. She... One day she just walked out of class, out of school. She just crossed the street and... Stood still in the middle of it as... As a truck was coming right at her.'

The terror in his eyes was as clear as a crystal.

I just pushed my face against the boy's chest and started crying out loud. How was I supposed to act right now? Nothing seemed right anymore.

Crying was the last option I'd take, but it also seemed to be the only one.

'I…,' Sebastian tried, but no words were good enough to make me stop crying a river.

So he just pulled me closer towards him and softly stroke the back of my head.

I could recall how I got called out of class and the principal told me about it. How I had run towards the hospital. The smell of the hospital. The noises from the machines in Evy's room.

The look on my father's face. The tears on Angelica's cheeks.

My name scratched inside of Evy's arm.

How my whole body broke in a million little pieces as I saw that. In the background I could hear a loud scream, my own scream from back then.

'She was in a coma for a few days,' I muttered and pulled back. I sat at the end of the couch, not wanting Sebastian to touch me. 'It had been an… awful hit. Do you understand how… terrible it is to see someone you care about so much like that? I mean… I just… broke when I saw her. My whole system went down or something.'

I sniffed and whipped my nose at my bare arm.

Sebastian nodded with a darker look on his face.

'I do actually,' He told me and I remembered him telling me about one of his former boyfriends.

'I'm so sorry,' I started, but Sebastian just smiled at me, a genuine smile.

'I've seen that as well, so I understand it,' he said and slowly grabbed my hand again and squeezed in it.

'Yeah… you know what the worst part was? She had carved my name in her underarm.

Rory. There was standing Rory in her arm. I… thought she… hated me or something. That she'd run in front of that truck… because of me. That's what my dad told me when I was in the hospital for the first time.

Maybe she thought I didn't believe in her anymore or something. Those sorts of things were going through my mind at that time.

As she woke up she told me differently. Evy said that… she had written that because… she loved me so much and… she was too scared to do it alone. To die alone. My little sister told me that she wanted to die, she couldn't handle every fucked up thing anymore.

She wanted to be dead!'

Another stream of tears came. Another squeeze in my hand.

'Evy asked me something. She asked me if I could help her. I told her yes. I said that'd change everything for us without her dying. I promised her I'd do that for me. For her. For us all.'

'And that's why you're here?' Sebastian asked me.

'Yes,' I said and looked into his eyes. 'Because of all the shit I had done back home they wanted me to exchange to America for a while and start behaving well. And for the first time ever I agreed with the police, my school and my father. I told them yes. Just because I wanted to get out of there. I thought that maybe here there'd be a solution for our situation.

But of course there isn't.'

I let out a laugh as the tears rolled down my cheeks.

'I'm so stupid!'

A burning pain formed at my cheek as Sebastian hit me pretty hard.

I looked at him with shock.

'What the-'

'There are! I will help you! Don't you see? Don't tell me you aren't glad that you came here! You are! You've got one fucking reason and I know that!' he yelled at me with fire in his eyes and voice.

A small smile played on my lips.

'Yeah… you're right,' I told him. 'One good thing. I met you here.'

Sebastian's and my own eyes locked and we looked at each other for a minute, no words being said.

'You better believe that, Flanagan,' he warned me without taking his eyes of me. 'I'm gonna help you with this mess, no matter how hard it'll be. Don't deny it.'

I looked away.

'You don't know how difficult that is going to be,' I mumbled truthfully. 'Besides everything I just mentioned, I'm not that easy to understand either. My inside is a mess. A complete disaster.'

'I understood that already,' Sebastian smiled at me. 'So… I know how fucked up that's gonna be. Doesn't mean I don't wanna try it.'

I looked up in surprise.

'Together we'll get it done,' Sebastian said with a grin on his face. 'I've got my own tricks up my sleeve.'

'You're one case full of weirdness,' I told him without emotions on my face.

He nodded with that cocky smile of his. Then he leaned in and kissed me on the lips.

I kissed him back and a little smile formed on my mouth.

The Warbler pulled back.

'Do you wanna do that more often, please?' he asked me with a small nod towards me.

The smile?

With my fingertips I touched my lips.

'It suits you.'

I smiled at him, put my arms around his waist and placed my head against his belly.

Damn it, Smythe, you don't know what you're getting yourself into, I thought.

You don't have a fucking clue.

Everything I touched seemed to become a natural disaster, an eruption of problems all at once, a hurricane of drama, a wave full of emotions that had been hidden for way too long.

And now you know everything about me as well, I thought as he put his arms around me tightly.

Can't you see that's making it even more difficult? It'll just make me wonder how you're thinking about me right now.

Didn't I tell him too much? Maybe I shouldn't have said certain things. How the hell was I supposed to understand what I should and should not have said?

One single tear dropped out of the corner of my eye.

Damn it! Sebastian, why…

You better prepare yourself because once you pull me into your life everything is going to be fucked up by me.

Everything.

As I looked up at his face, his beautiful lips, those wonderful cheekbones, that perfectly formed nose, those gorgeously closed eyes, I knew it already.

I'm gonna break down every single perfect part of you, Sebastian, no matter how hard I am gonna fight against it…

It will happen eventually. This was the price I had to pay for playing this game.

This damn game.

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**Reviews please? (:**


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews! :D you guys rock!**

**I'm sorry my updating is going slow. Lots of study stuff at the moment so squeezing in space to write is rather difficult! :/**

**Thanks for being patient guys!**

**Here's my next chapter:**

* * *

Fucking dish soap! It stinged pretty bad in my eye.

'Damnit!' I cursed as I tried to get the stuff out of my face. This is exactly why doing the dishes was bad for me! It was that kind of work where you didn't need the ability to think about what you're doing. And that sort of thing would make me zone out and think about my personal problems.

Than I'd rub in my eye and BAM I would get soap in my eye.

'Ooooh... Fuck!' I cursed again, looking in the mirror in the bath room. My eye was fucking red.

I touched the corner of my eye gently, but even that hurt!

All because I had been thinking about Sebastian.

Two days ago I had told him about my life back home in Ireland and since then I hadn't seen him anymore.

Sebastian was still texting me stuff, but I didn't answer him.

And that boy seemed to understand me anyhow.

I didn't reply, because I was still in a fight with myself about telling Sebastian everything, like, was it such a smart idea to do that?

And at the same time I felt a comforting feeling the moment I got a new text from him, telling me the most random stuff ever.

In some way I liked that he told me I was on his mind.

One of his first texts told me that he knew I would answer him the very instant that I was mentally feeling better again.

'Fucking soap,' I muttered as I walked out of the bath room. I kept on cursing as I walked down the stairs and into the cosy living room from the Pears.

Only Brittany was home right now, watching tv.

She turned her head slightly as I walked up to her.

'How's your eye?' She asked with worry in her voice.

'It hurts,' I said and smiled at her, letting her know I'd survive.

I sat down next to her on the couch.

Brittany kept quiet. And I knew why.

The whole family had been wondering about it, about my bruises.

But how could I tell them about my dad? It would make everything around here awkward and stuff. They'd pity me and that'd be the last thing I wanted.

The bruises were almost gone by now.

And when school would start, in two days, they'd be pretty much gone.

'What are we watching?' I asked my host as we stared at the TV.

'The last unicorn,' Brittany told me with a quiet voice.

I looked at her face. She was staring intensively at the screen, but I had the feeling that she wasn't really seeing the said movie.

'Sounds cool,' I answered and got a bit more comfortable on the couch.

'It is awesome, there's a unicorn in it so,' the blonde told me with that obsessed voice of hers. I liked it when she said stuff with that voice.

We watched the movie in silence, but in the middle of the movie she softly grabbed my hand.

I put my arm around her and pulled her closely into my chest.

'Don't worry,' I whispered in my friend's ear.

But Brittany just started to cry softly into my chest.

'But you're my friend,' she said with a sobbing voice.

I kept stroking her back the whole time she was crying.

* * *

From: Sebastian

Hey handsome ;) I'm going out with Nick, Jeff and Thad. If you want to you can come with us? It's gonna rock, trust me! We'll be at Andy's.

Xxxxxxxxxx

I had been staring at this text for fifteen minutes by now. It was half past ten.

Santana had come by half an hour ago, so Brittany wouldn't be alone. She had been pretty upset so I didn't want her to be alone.

Now there was only one more problem left.

Did I wanna see Sebastian?

Oh fuck my life.

I got up from my bed and put on my shoes.

One quick look in the mirror said enough.

I didn't look good in any kind of way.

Old bruises in my face (and underneath my clothes as well) one eye was still stingy, though you didn't really see that and my clothes weren't anything fancy.

Just an old jeans and a black blouse.

Well fuck that. I wasn't going to change my clothes.

I took my wallet from my desk, put in away in my pocket and walked out of my room and down the stairs.

'Britt? I'm going out for the night,' I yelled towards the kitchen.

Then I walked out the door.

At first I took a bus, since that bar was just outside of town. Then I walked fifteen minutes to finally arrive at the Andy's, the bar Sebastian had told me he was going to.

Some nice, live music was to be heard inside the little pub.

I went in.

It was pretty crowded tonight. What would you expect on a Saturday night, Rory?

'Rory!' One loud excited voice screamed.

And before I knew a pair of arms wrapped around my body and pressed me against another body.

He smelled so nice...

I put my arms around Sebastian's body and pressed my nose in his shoulder.

'You actually came!' The boy said as we let go of each other.

I nodded with a small smile.

Sebastian closed the distance between us by kissing me fastly.

'I hope you didn't mind my stalking though,' he said with his cocky smile.

'No... It was very nice,' I softly spoke and looked at the ground as I did so.

'That's good,' Sebastian smiled. 'Come on!'

He grabbed my hand and pulled at it, telling me to start walking.

So I followed him deeper into the building.

'Rory!' A boy screamed into my ear as we found Sebastian's friends. 'Heard a lot about you man!'

He friendly hit me on my shoulder.

'Good stuff I may hope,' I joked and smiled.

'Nothing bad to say about you, Irish,' Sebastian grinned at me. 'This is Nick.' He pointed at the boy that hit me.

'This is Thad.' The second boy shook my hand with a shy smile before he took another sip from his beer.

'And last but not least, Jeff,' Smythe told me as he pointed towards the third person.

My eyes widened as I saw Jeff.

Fucking... No way!

Our eyes met.

Deep-sea blue met wooden brown.

Damn it.

We just shared a look before I turned back to look at Sebastian.

He frowned, wondering why we didn't socialize. I squeezed in his hand for a bit.

'My glass is empty,' Nick informed us. 'Lets get some new shit!'

'Agreed,' me and Sebastian grinned and the five of us ran to the bar to get some beers.

Sebastian wanted to dance with me really badly, so that was up next.

'I need to use the bath room,' Sebastian informed me after an hour of dancing.

'I'll go with you,' I said and we left the dance floor.

We walked down the hall and into the men's room.

It was empty. And so, so quiet.

Sebastian ignored the toilets by pulling me in a romantic hug.

'I've missed the shit out of you, Irish,' he informed me with a soft voice.

I put my arms around his waist and pulled him a bit closer.

'Sorry.'

'It was no bad kind of missing, silly.'

'Oh.'

'Tell me. Tell me that you missed me too,' Sebastian whispered in my ear as he let his hands slip down to my butt.

'I...,' I started, but I just bit down on my bottom lip, not knowing what to do.

'Just tell me, Rory,' Sebastian whispered and he pushed me against the wall. 'I know it already. I just need you to say it. Out loud.'

I squeezed my eyes shut as Sebastian placed his hand on my belly and was slowly moving it downwards.

O god...

The guy started to unzip my pants.

I gulped as he pulled them down together with my boxers and placed his hand on a sensitive place.

We hadn't had sex in like... Four weeks? I wondered how I had managed doing that.

'I've missed this...,' I told the Warbler as he started kissing my neck.

A soft moan escaped my mouth.

'Don't lie,' Sebastian told me as he undid me from my blouse and himself from his shirt. 'You've missed more than just the sex, babe.'

'Yes,' I answered as Sebastian started kissing my neck again. He started going down, from my neck to my shoulder, my chest, my belly...

'O god...,' I whined in excitement. 'I have missed this.'

'And?' Sebastian asked me whilst coming up again and starting to kiss my lips.

I quickly pulled down Sebastian's remaining clothes and he pulled us towards the sinks.

He pushed me up on one of them before kissing me again.

'I've missed your lips,' I said in between the kisses. 'I've missed your eyes... Your smell... Your voice...'

A loud moan escaped my mouth as I felt Sebastian's cock touching my entrance.

O damn...

'Say it, Rory, say it,' the boy said with a husky voice.

'I've missed... You. You, Sebastian,' I said and opened my eyes to look at the said boy.

Our eyes connected and we stared at each other for a long time.

I stroke his cheek.

He moved in slowly and kissed me passionately.

I pushed my hips forward and Sebastian understood.

He pushed himself inside of me and we started moving our hips in rhythm.

I locked my legs around his waist.

At first we were being gentle and slow, but soon we started going faster, faster, faster, wilder, wilder.

I kissed Sebastian's neck and shoulder, bit in them softly.

Sebastian screamed my name as he came.

And I screamed his.

* * *

**So I swear I will be faster with the next chapter!**

**Once again I love your patience!**

**Please tell me what you thought of this one?**


	21. Chapter 21

**Thanks for the sweet reviews people! :)**

**A bit of a faster update this time, huray!**

**There's one thing I forgot to metion in the previous chapter: Sebastian's friends (Chad, Nick and Jeff) are real characters from the show, so if you'd like to know who they are you can find them on the internet! :)**

**Here you have chapter 21, enjoy!:**

* * *

Good god, whom had formed the idea of letting school begin on a Monday morning? It was way too early for studies.

My brain wasn't even able to process anything right now.

Not to forget the way I had woken up this morning! Brittany had thrown a bucket full of ice-cold water over my face.

It was traumatizing, for real.

One sweet good morning text from Sebastian made me feel slightly better though.

My bruises were more than gone so no one would nor could suspect anything.

The only two things left to face today were getting past the annoying squad: Rachel talking about her talent, Kurt about his clothes, Santana who'd not only bully my accent but also ask me why Brittany had been so sad last weekend.

These were the people inside of the school building.

Outside I would face the rather difficult task of sneaking past Matthew who was still here in America to watch over me and report my flaws back home to my principal, my dad and the police.

Yes, the American school part was obviously back into my life.

Amazing.

As the last bell rang through the empty hallways that'd soon be filled, and through the full classrooms everybody got up from their seats as soon as they could.

I even noticed that some kids had forgotten to take their books with them, idiots.

I was doing it slowly, too tired to run out of school.

It took me around seven minutes to get to my locker and take my books out.

As I closed my locker again I let out a deep sigh.

Here we go, I thought as my feet started to drag me towards the exit of school.

'Rory! I really, really want to sing this song for nationals, but Mr. Schue won't let me? Will you tell him it's a good Idea?' Rachel Berry asked me as I walked past her.

'Sure do,' I told her without stopping.

'Don't you wanna know what song?' She yelled.

'Don't bother, you'll sing every song great!' I screamed back.

Like I cared? I had to admit her voice was amazing, but I couldn't care less about her song choice.

'Hey Rory, look at my new shoes!'

Act like you haven't heard him, Flanagan. Just keep on walking.

When I walked down the last hallway I noticed Santana leaning against the lockers. O damn.

One quick look around I saw a big, as in tall and BREED, person walking a bit in front of me. Just my luck!

I walked up to him fastly and placed myself next to him.

Hiding myself behind the dude I made my way past Santana and her demon eyes which were burning like hell and run out of the building.

Yes! Made it! Thank you lord!

'Well hello there sweety!' Fuck.

I had forgotten about that problem. Fuck.

'Leave me alone will you?' I asked Matthew as I looked into his gorgeous eyes.

Sometimes I wondered why I did dump him. I mean look at that body, damn...

'I can't,' the black haired boy muttered with a cocky smile.

Oh yeah... He stalked me a lot and he was annoying, etcetera.

'What is that you want?' I asked him with a angry look on my face. Get off my case man!

'I'm not here because of the Irish people back home,' he told me and I raised an eyebrow.

When he didn't go on I coughed once.

Matthew looked away from me as he said: 'I was wondering if you... Ehm... Would like to get a drink sometime or something?'

His cheeks turned a light shade of red.

This idiot really had some nerves!

'Are you serious?' I asked with a mad tone in my voice.

'Well... Yes,' the fifteen year old muttered under his breath.

'You know that because of you I was placed here in America right?!' I yelled at him.

'What? You agreed to being send here!' Matthew yelled back. He was becoming angry too.

'Yeah, but they wanted me to go to here because you told them about the stuff me and my friends back home you wanker!' I screamed.

'It was for your own good-'

'Shut up you idiot! This was for_ your _own good!'

Matthew's green eyes seemed to get bigger and the scare was too been seen on his face.

'You know damn good what I'm talking about,' I sneered at him and placed my arms in front of my chest.

'I… don't…,' the smaller boy uttered but I just laughed sarcastic.

'You've been in love with me for more than half a year, man,' I told him using a disgusting tone. 'Grow up, for real.'

Tears seemed to be forming in the corners of Matthew's eyes, but it really didn't make me sympathize a little.

'I mean, just take a look at yourself for a second,' I went on. 'You're fifteen and you're already fangirling about the… what? Second boy you've ever had a crush on? Not to mention that that boy used you until it bored him and then threw you away like it was nothing. And instead of being mad or hating me, you decided to stalk me for the rest of your life?'

Tears were streaming down those beautiful cheeks of the younger boy.

'You're pathetic, Matthew.'

With that I turned around and started to walk away. I put my hands in the pockets of my jeans.

* * *

'So… I run into your ex two hours ago.'

'Really?'

'He seemed… ehm… upset to say it softly.'

'Serves him right.'

A laugh rolled of my lips.

'What did you do?'

I looked up to the face of Sebastian above me.

We were sitting in his small, really nice garden. My head was lying in his lap.

'Well, he asked to go on some sort of date with him. So I told him my thoughts about him.'

Sebastian stayed quiet for a minute.

After that I sat up straight and looked into his sweet eyes.

'What? You're not telling me that was wrong right?' I asked him surprised.

The Warbler bit down on his lip and looked the other way for another minute.

'Sebastian?'

'I'm not saying it's wrong, because I don't know what has happened between the two of you, but I'm not agreeing either. I mean he was just asking for a date. The boy has feelings for you,' Sebastian explained his thoughts.

He was kidding me right?

'He is fifteen! Matthew will fall in love with every boy that says 'hello' to him! And he stalks me,' I defend my opinion.

'So? I mean he's obviously being naïve but… did you really have to make him cry?'

'Yes.'

'Rory!' a huge smile was on Sebastian's face.

'What? I mean it,' I tell with a grin. 'He has been annoying me since I got here.'

'You're the worst, babe,' Sebastian smiles at me. I smile back.

I lean in and softly press my lips against his.

The other boy's lips form a smile as he kisses me back and I pull him closer towards me.

This was the moment I felt so blessed that I had ever met him.

As we part I caress his cheek and our eyes lock.

'You're wonderful,' I whisper without thinking and I notice how Sebastian's eyes grow a bit.

It makes me chuckle.

In silence he tells me to get up, so I do. Sebastian takes my hand and we silently walk towards the small gate which leads us to the streets.

'Where are we going?' I ask him in surprise, but Sebastian just turns his head slightly and puts one finger on his lips.

It was a secret.

I started to walk next to him instead of behind him and pulled him close to me by putting my arm around his back. Sebastian did the same, but with care.

'What if someone sees us?' he asks me.

'Let them see us.'

I felt his sweet, perfectly formed lips touching my cheek and I couldn't help but smile a little.

'By the way,' Sebastian said as he seemed to remember something. 'Why don't you like Jeff?'

I let a laugh roll of my lips again.

'Well, we've met before you see,' I started to tell my friend. 'And it's actually quite a horrible story.'

'Spill it,' the Warbler said with a cocky smile.

'Two summers ago Jeff was on a holiday in Ireland and as you might know Jeff is gay. A lot.'

'I know that!' Sebastian laughed.

'Well he was interested in my best friend Alex, but Alex is straight. Since me and the twins noticed Jeff everywhere and we also saw him staring at Alex all the time, we decided to go up to him and confront him.

He told he us about his sort of crush, but we didn't tell him about Alex being hetero. '

'No!' Sebastian whined with a huge smile.

'Yeah… we told him that Alex was that sort of guy who liked to first have sex and afterwards he'd see if he wanted to go on dates and stuff. Jeff believed us of course so we told him to just go up to Alex and tell him he wanted sex with him. Jeff did that and Alex… well he had seen us talking to Jeff, so he played along. They would meet up in the beach house around midnight. That night there was a beach party and we got Jeff into the house and to undress.

Alex then stole his clothes and ran outside. We threw them in the ocean and the twins had grabbed Jeff and had taken him outside.'

Sebastian looked at me with huge, huge eyes.

'Yeah… there were a lot of people on the beach that night so Jeff was really, really embarrassed and the rest of his holiday people noticed who he was and… laughed at him.'

I grinned at the memory, but I also felt rather sorry for the dude.

'You guys are the worst ever!' Sebastian said as he started laughing really, really loud. He actually got to cry from laughter.

'Yeah… he hates me alright,' I said, but I couldn't stop grinning either. 'But Sebastian? Where are we going?'

'A few more minutes,' Smythe tells me while still laughing.

After a little while Sebastian guided me into a small alley where we seemed to end up at a big street again.

Sebastian nagged me a bit about where we were going and the longer it took the more irritated I became.

'Will you please shut you mouth and tell me?' I said after another fifteen minutes of walking.

'Well, here you go,' Sebastian pointed out the thing next to me.

'Sebastian…'

'Yes?'

'Why are we at a bus stop?'

* * *

**Why are they at a bus stop? You'll see in the next chapter ;)**

**But before that one is up I'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter!**

**Reviews please? :D**


	22. Chapter 22

**Welcom, welcome, you've successfully found the 22th chapter of my Fanfiction! **

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Here you go:**

* * *

'Why are we at a bus stop?' I asked curiously.

'To get on a bus of course!' Sebastian answered with a cocky smile.

'I understand that,' I told him a bit irritated. 'But why are we getting on a bus? Where are we going? On a Monday?'

Sebastian just put his finger against his lips and told me to shut the hell up as he grabbed his wallet from his pocket.

A bus stopped in front of us. Lots of people where getting out while we we're walking in.

Sebastian paid for us, damn right because I wasn't gonna pay for something I didn't know!

'Excited yet?' the Warbler asked with that goddamn smile of his.

'No.'

Sebastian playfully hit me on my shoulder and let out an annoying giggle as the bus started to drive.

Even though I shook of his hand, I had to admit that I wasn't really cranky or annoyed. In some kind of a way I was really excited to go to wherever Sebastian had planned for us to go.

I just laid my head against the window and closed my eyes until the ride was over.

It didn't take too long before I felt Sebastian shaking at my shoulder whispering: 'C'mon, we're at the place.'

A bit sleepy I got out of the bus.

We were standing in some local town, a few stores and places to eat where lying at my left side.

'So, what are we gonna do here?' I asked surprised. The only thing I could think of was to go dine somewhere and by the looks of it it was rather expensive here.

'At first, we'll have to walk a long way,' Sebastian smiled and gave me a wink. 'Do you mind?'

Before I even understood why he asked me that the boy had already grabbed my hand.

I rolled my eyes at him but squeezed a bit in his hand at the same time.

'Will you please tell me where you are taking me?' I asked Sebastian with an eyebrow raised.

'No! That will only ruin the surprise, my dear!'

Sebastian gave me a quick kiss before we walked further down the street, still clueless to where we were going.

Sebastian started talking about something that had happened at school, when his phone started ringing.

'And then- ' but the boy shut up and we stopped walking.

Sebastian grabbed his cellphone out of his pocket and looked at the screen, but he didn't answer it right away. He just kept on staring a little while, seemingly thinking about the caller.

There was a name on the screen, so he should clearly know the person. I couldn't read the name, though. Why didn't he answer?

'Hi, I didn't think you'd be calling so soon…,' Sebastian quietly muttered when he finally pressed the green button and put the phone to his hear.

I looked at his eyes, which were going in every possible direction while the boy was listening.

'Oh… like that.' His voice became a bit sad.

…

'Yes… Yes… Yeah… No, that won't be a problem! No, I won't mind and… oh.'

He kept silent for a few minutes again.

'Yes, I'll figure something out. Yes. Yes. Bye,' Sebastian ended and he put away his phone again.

'What was that about?' I asked frowning.

'Nothing, some Nationals business. Boring stuff, c'mon let's go!'

The rest of the day we just did some weird, fun stuff around the strange town.

Sebastian pulled me in some clothing stores in which he bought lots of stuff, though he got me to buy three items as well. That made me really proud!

Between the clothes shopping I managed to get Sebastian in a few bookstores in which I felt like I never wanted to leave, and I also got him to come with me to some game stores.

At the end of the day we actually got to eat in one of the expensive restaurants in town.

The food was delicious; it was the best I had ever tasted!

When I saw the paycheck I felt kinda sorry that Sebastian was paying everything.

'Don't worry, I've got more than enough money,' the Warbler grinned as I told him about my concerns.

After that we checked in a hotel. I called the Pears, telling them I'd spend the night with one of my friends and that I'd be on time for school tomorrow.

Like I would actually go.

After I ended the call, Sebastian wrapped his arms around my back and hugged me tightly.

He slowly started to kiss the back of my neck and whisper sweet little words in between.

That boy got me right where he wanted me!

I turned around, grabbed him firmly and while kissing Sebastian roughly I pushed him down on the bed.

But no matter how much I knew we were about to have, there was one thing in the back of my mind that I kept wondering about.

That phone call, and the texts the rest of the day.

Who was the person that was texting him? And what were they talking about?

* * *

**I know it's short, but the next chapter will be up really, really quick and that one won't let you down!**

**Reviews would be welcome! :** )


	23. Chapter 23

**Guys I'm sooo sooo sorry!**

**I'm trying really badly to update faster :( it's just not working! School stuff is just fl dlfkdosoaka you know... I hope you're all still loving my fanfic...**

**Enough wining! **

**Here's the next chapter:**

* * *

'Gooooooood morning, beautiful!' Sebastian smiled at me as I woke up.

He was lying on his side directed to me.

'Mornin' ,' I said still sleepy and as I tried too rub my eyes Sebastian leaned in half way.

Then he stopped. It made me raise an eyebrow at him.

'Come closer,' Sebastian muttered and softly grabbed the hand next to my eyes.

I moved a bit forward and planted a soft, sweet kiss on the boy's cheek.

I felt the muscels in his cheek move, he smiled.

'You're a funny guy,' Sebastian said as he pulled me into his chest.

I closed my eyes and thankfully rested against him, I was still tired from last night.

sebastian was twisting around a bit, so when I opened my eyes I saw him looking at the screen of his phone.

Again?

What was he doing on that thing...

He let out a deep breath it seemed, I could feel his body chaking but I didn't hear him.

I was on the very point of asking him about it, but Sebastian just put his arms around me tighter.

'What do you wanna do today? Since you're having a day of from school!'

'I figured you'd have something in mind,' I honestly told him as we let go of each other.

'Well yeah,' the Warbler carefully said. 'But my plans will not start in another two hours.'

I raised my eyebrows once more, but Sebastian just smiled innocently at me.

'I am not particulary fond of surprises.'

'I'm hell sure you will like mine!'

I shook my head with a soft smile on it.

'Okay than. How about you go make me the most marvelous dinner, we have some fun and head out for the day,' I suggested with a grin. 'Not particular in that order.'

That cocky smile crossed his face.

'That sounds awesome,' Sebastian said as he pulled me down with him in the bed.

* * *

Sebastian grabbed my hand really sneaky as we were walking up a busy street in the city of which I didn't even know its name.

Smythe looked at his phone for the millionth time this past hour, which was starting to annoy me endlessly.

'Dude, put the damn thing in your pocket and leave it there,' I said a bit irritated as he once again unlocked and locked the touch screen.

'Sorry,' Sebastian muttered as he put the cellphone away.

'What are you even waiting for, anyway?' I asked and I couldn't help it that some sort of curiosity sounded though my voice.

Sebastian's eyes met mine for a split second, and then he stopped the walking and looked around.

He seemed to have spotted an old bench and dragged me towards it.

With one of his hands on my shoulder he pushed me down on it and a bit irritated I looked up at him.

'Why are you doing this?' I asked.

Sebastian said down next to me and grabbed my hand. He then starred for what seemed like ages in my eyes.

He was really freaking me out.

Lots and lots of scenarios were playing in my head, like Sebastian was about to tell me that he cheated, that he had slept with lots of other guys or something.

O. My. God.

Maybe he was going to tell me he didn't really liked me at all? Or something in that way?

I shook my head.

Why was I thinking of these things? Wait… why would it matter to me if Sebastian liked me or not?

We didn't even have an official relationship! Or did we?

I hadn't really given it any thoughts since… well ever. Why would I? I had never thought I would really fall for Sebastian to begin with.

Have I actually fallen for him? Or was I still coming back to him for the sex?

God… my head was hurting.

'Are you okay?'

I returned back to earth, seemed like I had zoned out once again. Shit.

'Yeah, I'm fine,' I said softly as I placed my hand against the side of my head. 'A little headache.'

'That's because you think too much,' the Warbler joked as he caressed my cheek.

Once again our eyes locked, but in my head it sounded again.

What was I feeling for him?

I definitely needed to find the answer soon.

'Don't worry when I look on my phone,' Sebastian started to answer my unspoken question. 'Everything is fine.'

'Who are you texting?' I muttered softly, but my face kept being emotionless.

'You'll see soon enough,' Sebastian said with a grin as he got up from his seat.

He stretched out his hand as a sign for me to take it, so I did.

We started walking again.

'Do you even remember where we are?' Sebastian asked me while we were walking down the street.

I looked around and I found some things very familiar, though I couldn't think of when.

'Tell me?'

'Think about the time when you got back from Ireland? That day,' Sebastian helped me.

I frowned.

'O… are we walking to the airport?' I asked surprised and my eyebrows jumped up pretty high.

Sebastian nodded with a big grin on his face. I saw him grabbing his phone again.

This time he had a text, but he made sure I couldn't read it.

Oh whatever.

'Come on, we have to hurry!' the boy than screamed really enthusiastic and he started running.

As I was holding his hand I got to run with him.

That boy made me curious to what we were going to see at the airport.

It didn't take long before I saw the big building, and once I had seen it it wasn't too long before we were inside of it running to one of the gates.

'On whom are we waiting?' I asked a bit tired of the running, making me gasp for air.

'Just… wait,' Sebastian panted.

I looked in wonder at the gate, but no one that came out seemed to be someone I knew.

It was actually running empty.

'Are you sure we are at the right portal?' I asked Sebastian in surprise.

'Look!' Sebastian screamed and pointed at the gate of which I had just turned my back at.

I turned around again.

For a few seconds I still couldn't see it.

Then I noticed the long, brown curls, the slender body, her unhealthy skin, her eyes which were just like mine.

Our so twin like eyes met.

'Evy,' I whispered in astonishment, my voice already seemed to break at the very instant and tears already filled my eyes.

'Evy… Evy… Evy!'

Slowly my feet were starting to walk and soon they were running towards my little sister.

'Rory!' her melodious voice screamed as she jumped into my arms and started crying really loud.

'Oh, Evy,' I sighed in her dark hair as I wrapped my arms around her as tightly as I could.

Was I dreaming?!

The tears were streaming down my face.

My knees gave in and we dropped down on the floor without letting go of each other.

Finally, finally…

She finally was away from my father, from our house, that terrible rehab, from Ireland.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up at Sebastian, who quietly suggested we should go somewhere else.

As I nodded he pulled Evy away from me and with one of his arms tightly wrapped around her skinny shoulders he supported her while we walked away from the gate.

Sebastian brought us to some benches closely at the huge doors from the building. We sat down.

'How… did you do it?' I asked slightly scared. I didn't know why I was scared; my body just reacted that way on the whole event.

'You told me about her, so I started looking for her. It was lots of work, first I had to find the nearest rehabs close to your village. But that were like twelve or something. So I looked up the phone number from your hospital and asked them about your sister, it took me lots of lying, smooth talk and convincing to get them to tell me in which rehab Evy was.

Once I had the name I looked up its phone number and called. Again lots of talking before I got them convinced to let me talk to Evy,' Sebastian explained.

'Yeah,' Evy mingled in. 'We had to speak in some sort of secret talk when I wanted to give him my phone number so he could text me. I mean they don't even let me have my cellphone most of the day, just like for half an hour. And I had to delete all of his texts, 'cause they'd check it.'

I just nodded the whole time, trying to progress it all.

'And like two weeks ago I started to arrange a flight for your sister and a… some sort of way to get her out of there,' Sebastian spoke.

'I told him about your friends,' my little sister said. 'Alex, Jeremy, you know. Sebastian came in contact with them and together the boys sort of kidnapped me out there and brought me to the airport. A friend of Sebastian took me from them and we got on the plane as soon as we could.'

'And now you're here,' I whispered in a broken voice, unable to understand that I wasn't dreaming.

'And now I'm here, finally. I'm with you again.' Her eyes looked in mine as she smiled at me.

I looked at her face, her sparkling eyes, and her bright smile. I looked at Sebastian who smiled as well.

Yet I was the only one that couldn't find the strength to smile, nor a proper reason to try it.

What was it that seemed to be wrong?

* * *

**What did you think? **

**The next one will be up quickly, and I mean it this time!**


	24. Chapter 24

**(: here is a next one!**

**So, I hope you are gonna like this one… and there's nothing left to say.**

**Here you go:**

* * *

I heard his footsteps walking up towards me. And I felt his hand rubbing my back up and down for once. I heard the cracking of the chair as he pulled at it and sat down on it.

A soft sigh left my lips.

'You've been awfully quiet the whole day.' He simple put it out there. Typically Sebastian Smythe.

I nodded without looking at him. I just stared at the table in front of me.

'Would you care to tell me why that is?' Sebastian asked me, but I heard that the tone in his voice had changed slightly. How long would he hold on to it, I wondered.

'Rory?' I just closed my eyes. Maybe he would leave me alone if I would ignore him.

'Dude, talk to me,' the Warbler said and I heard his voice got a bit louder.

'Rory!' he grabbed me at my chin and turned me face to face with himself. I opened my eyes.

His eyes felt like needles poking in my eyes. God damn.

'I'm sorry,' I said a bit irritated as I shook his hands of me. 'Just a bit tired, that's all.'

Sebastian kept looking at me, without saying anything. I hated it when he did that.

'You're not glad that I brought Evy here?'

'I am! I am fucking happy she's here, all right?' I screamed a bit angry at him before I looked away.

'What's your problem,' Sebastian muttered just as angry as I was.

My eyes wondered around the hotel room. Evy was sleeping in the room next to ours.

'It's just that…,' I tried, but I found it difficult to find the right words. 'Something's not right about her. She's too…'

'Too what?' Sebastian asked me in surprise and he bend a bit closer to me.

'Too sober. Too happy,' I explained, deserving a frown from the other boy. 'She was in that rehab for a reason. You can't tell me that now she's off of medication she'll be feeling amazing. That's insane.'

Sebastian blinked a few times. Did he even understand me?

'Well… maybe she is,' he then tried. 'Evy couldn't have taken any form of drugs the whole day. Alex and those twins were with her until Jeff took her over at the airport. Then we were with her.'

'You let Jeff take her?' I asked distracted. Fucking Alex and Jeff? Really….

'Eh… I didn't have anyone else who wanted to go to Ireland,' Sebastian grinned. 'Anyway. You worry too much. don't.'

I nodded. Sebastian leaned in and gave me a soft kiss on my lips.

* * *

She walked in and dropped on one of the chairs at our table. For some reason it irritated me a lot.

A very lot.

'So what are we gonna do today?' Sebastian asked my sister with one of his big smiles. Evy just shrugged her shoulders and looked out of the window.

'When are we heading home?' I asked Sebastian, ignoring his first question.

'Eh… this afternoon, I guess,' the Warbler said with a small frown. 'We have school tomorrow so.'

He was wondering why I asked that because Sebastian probably hadn't expected me to ask such a thing. He had figured that I would just be occupied too much with my sister.

'Yeah,' I nodded. 'What happens to Evy?'

Sebastian just stared at me. The tone in my voice had sounded really strange.

'She will… stay at my place, if you don't mind,' the boy said and bit down on his lower lip.

For a second I was distracted, 'cause when did that he looked so fucking sexy. I shook with my head.

'That's cool,' I said silently and looked at my sister again, who was still staring out of the window.

The atmosphere in the room was awful.

Sebastian stood up from where he was sitting and walked towards the bed, on which I was sitting.

The boy placed himself besides me and took my hand in his. My other hand had turned into a fist.

'Let's go outside,' Evy then said and jumped up, whipping her hair out of her face as she did so. 'I am really craving for a cigarette.'

She left the room.

'Don't think about it,' Sebastian whispered in my ear as he squeezed in my hand. 'It's just a cigarette, nothing more.' I nodded, but with clenched teeth.

Sebastian pulled me up from the bed and gave me a sweet kiss, but I didn't respond. Something inside of my brain was already spinning and turning. There was no way of stopping this.

I felt a small amount of anger bottled up inside of me starting to spread through my body.

'C'mon,' Sebastian spoke softly as he started dragging me out of the hotel room. We were following my sister, or at least Sebastian was. I didn't see anything around me anymore. Everything was blurry.

This is not good.

This is not good.

This is not good.

That line was replaying in my head over and over again, which made me frustrated. Sebastian was right, it was only a pack of cigarettes she was going to buy. I shook my head softly.

As we walked outside of the hotel my head was really spinning, I felt sort of sick. My hand pulled at Sebastian's, the one that was still holding mine firmly.

The guy stopped and turned around slightly to look at me, his eyes grew bigger as he saw me.

'Evy, go ask in that restaurant over there,' Sebastian suggested. 'I'm gonna sit somewhere with your brother.'

Evy shrugged her shoulders and walked off. She couldn't even care if I was feeling sick.

Sebastian looked around, than dragged me to some old brown bench at the end of the street.

He placed me on it and sat next to me, one of his hands lay on my cheek.

'What's wrong?' he asked me almost immediately, but I just pushed his hand away from my face and laid my own on my forehead. It was banging like crazy.

Fuck!

Then I realized something.

'Did you… gave her money?' I asked the boy next to me. Sebastian blinked for a second.

'Yeah, some,' he said with a suspicious tone. 'To pay for the ticket and stuff. Nothing more.'

My thought were going crazy. Knowing Evy, she had bought the ticket somewhere or from someone very cheap, so she would have more money than Sebastian would know of.

And the fact that she was a drug addict added up to that. Evy was walking around town all alone now. There's only one thing she could be doing, one thing she could be buying.

'YOU IDIOT!' I Screamed at Sebastian who seemingly was scared of my sudden outburst. 'Do you even understand what you just did?! You let her go out, ALONE! With money! More money than you think she owns right now!'

Sebastian turned pale and his lips were forming the words 'Fucking shit'.

'She doesn't know where she can get some,' he said really really soft, and I felt the anger increase.

'Of course she does! She will not stop looking until she finds it! She'll ask anybody!'

I rubbed over my forehead again. Sebastian jumped up and started looking around.

'I'll start searching her!' he screamed frantically, but I just sniffed sarcastically.

'You'll never find her,' I said. 'We have to wait till she's back in the hotel.'

* * *

Sebastian and I had been quiet for two hours. We had been sitting in our room for two hours, doing nothing. I felt him staring at me all the time, but I didn't look back.

Sebastian was worried about me, because I had been sitting unbelievably still these past two hours.

Finally, our door got opened.

Evy came in, but she looked incredibly grumpy. That meant she hadn't find anything.

'You can't get anything around here, can you?' she said with an angry tone. 'Noting! No fucking shit!'

I got up from my seat.

'I did get some cigarettes, though,' Evy said. 'And some weed. But nothing fucking else. This shithole is awful. When do we leave?'

My fist reached out and hit my sister right in the face. Evy fell down on the ground, tears formed in her eyes.

'Where the fuck did you do that for?' she yelled at me. My body was shivering from the anger.

Sebastian had jumped up, but didn't do anything else.

'How can you come in here and say those things?' I asked with a silent voice. 'Don't you understand? It hurts, Evy. I hoped you had gotten better. You said you were clean, for fucks sake.'

'I was!' my sister said, which broke me even more. 'I am, but… I can take it one more time, you know. One last time. Then I'll stop! For good! I promise. You just have to help me getting a fix.'

Evy was standing in front of me again and smiled at me.

'You're insane,' I said before I pushed her away from me, I had pushed a bit too hard which led to Evy hitting against the wall.

'Just help me, man! You're my brother! You're supposed to help me!' she screamed angry at me. 'You never helped me! Ever! You always thought of your own life first! You're a worthless brother, do you know that?! You piece of shit!'

She tried to hit me, but I grabbed her arm and turned it around, she screamed painfully.

'Let me go! Let me go, Rory! Fucking wanker! Let me go!'

I threw her on the ground and felt the urge to kick her in her stomach. The moment I wanted to do so, I felt a pair of arms grabbing me around my waist and pulling me away from Evy.

'Don't, Rory,' Sebastian said in my ear. 'You'll regret it. You will hurt yourself more than her.'

I was struggling to get him off of me. I didn't succeed.

Evy had crawled in a corner and was screaming strange and loudly at us.

'Fuck off, Sebastian!' I yelled furious, I felt his grip loosen up for a bit so I broke free and turned around. The next thing I knew my fist touched Sebastian's nose, causing it to start bleeding like crazy.

My other fist hit him against his eye and with my next hit Sebastian was pushed against a wall.

I saw how his head hit the wall extremely painful.

I will never understand why, but my feet just started walking. In my mind everything went black.

A whole part of that day had been whipped out from my memory.

After Sebastian's pale, bleeding face I was unsure of what had happened.

All of a sudden I found myself at a bus station, getting aboard of the next bus.

* * *

**Let me know how you feel about this one?**

**I won't promise that my next update will be faster... since it probably won't.**

**I've got a part finished already, though!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Here's 25!**

**I feel like I hit a milestone or something hahaha**

**Thanks for the reviews people! Highly appreciated!**

* * *

I was in New York.

Fucking New York.

How did I got here anyway? No money, no mind that was functioning right.

This was insane.

My eyes stared at the people that were walking past me on the streets. I couldn't think, so I just walked around. This was so weird.

I had no idea of time, but it was getting darker outside so I figured I should look for a place to stay.

Music caught my attention.

I looked up from the streets to see a little café where the sounds were coming from, lights hit me eyes. It seemed nice, so I decided to walk in. Why the fuck not, right?

I pushed against the door and walked into the building. The bar was the first thing I saw with lots of barstools surrounding it. The left side of the café was covered with small tables and chair, while the right side was some sort of stage. There was a boy playing his guitar while he was singing in the microphone. The place was loaded.

It seemed rather nice to me, so I sat down on one of the free chairs and watched the boy perform.

He wasn't so special, really, but he seemed to enjoy himself anyhow.

'Thank you,' the young boy said with a shy tone in his voice as he stood up from his chair and walked off of the stage. I blinked, wondering who was coming up next.

An old man climbed up on the stage and stood in front of the microphone.

'And now,' he spoke calmly, but with a grin. 'Here comes our beloved Cassie!'

People started cheering and screaming, even applause sounded. That girl should be really good then, I figured. I couldn't wait.

A small girl walked up. She was really, really tin, her hair was blonde, but it kind of looked like snow really. She turned her face towards the audience and everyone got silent.

Her eyes were very big and blue, her mouth was a dark shade of red and her skin was as pale as her hair. She was absolutely stunning.

Don't drool Rory, I told myself with a small grin, don't.

'Hi,' Cassie said with a shy smile. 'Together with my band, we'll perform some covers, enjoy!'

Some guys with guitars walked up behind her and one girl placed herself behind the drums.

They started playing, while the whole café made no sound.

Cassie just stood there, not moving at all. Her eyes were closed.

Slowly she grabbed a hold of the microphone and opened her mouth. A shiver went down my spine as I heard her voice. It was perfect.

'_You were my conscience  
so solid now you're like water  
and we started drowning  
not like we'd sink any further  
but I let my heart go  
it's somewhere down at the bottom  
but I'll get a new one. Come back for the hope that you've stolen.'  
_

damn, she was fucked up good!

_'I'll stop the whole world  
I'll stop the whole world  
from turning into a monster, and eating us alive  
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?  
well now that you're gone the world is ours,' _she sung and a painful look turned on her face.

'I'm only human  
I've got a skeleton in me  
but I'm not the villain,'

The blonde sung and our eyes met.

_'despite what you're always preaching  
they Call me a traitor  
I'm just collecting your victims  
They're getting stronger,  
and I hear them calling_

I'll stop the whole world  
I'll stop the whole world  
from turning into a monster, and eating us alive  
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?  
well now that you're gone the world is ours.'

She looked away again, but my eyes were stuck at her.

'Well you found strength but solutions I liked the tension  
And not always knowing the answers when you're gonna lose it, you're gonna lose it

I'll stop the whole world  
I'll stop the whole world  
from turning into a monster, and eating us alive  
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?  
well now that you're gone the world

I'll stop the whole world  
I'll stop the whole world  
from turning into a monster, eating us alive  
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?  
But now that you're gone the world is ours…,'

she ended the song really quietly, giving it a weird feeling. That feeling was to be felt through the whole café and every single person inside of it was as silent as the night itself.

Holy fuck, who was this girl?! Nothing else was on my mind anymore, if there had ever been something on it to be honest.

I just wanted to say hi to her. Goddamn.

Cassie started singing another song, a happier one. Or at least it sounded happier, I couldn't make sense of the words anymore. Everything confused me.

After two more songs she said that they were going to have a small break. That was my change.

As soon as the girl jumped off of the stage I stood up, making my point very clear.

Cassie noticed me, and with cute small steps she walked up to me, a smile formed on her lips.

When she was in front of me she stopped and bended over.

'I never thought I'd see you here again,' her red painted lips whispered in my ear, it gave me chills.

She stood up straight again and looked at me with a soft smile.

I didn't understand.

'I have never seen you before,' I said confused. I looked at her face again, but it didn't feel familiar.

Cassie's big eyes stared into mine for a few seconds. Her smile didn't fade.

'You have,' she said with her light voice. 'You just don't remember me anymore, that's all.'

I shook my head.

'Doesn't that bother you then?' I asked with a frown on my face, but the girl just shook her head.

We stared at each other for a minute.

'Wait here.' She said and before I could have responded she was already gone. I looked around for her, she talked to someone behind the bar.

Whatever. I sat down on the chair I had been sitting on the whole time.

I didn't have much time to sit though, cause Cassie ran up to me, grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the café.

'Come on! Let's have some fun!' she yelled with a grin on her face.

A smile formed on my face, fun always meant FUN, and for some reason I believed we were going to have an amazing time tonight.

Fuck it, I'm in New York, I thought before I hold onto her hand and ran along her side.

Cassie took me to another bar.

'Hi Tom!' she said to one of the guys behind the bar. 'Give me some shit, man!'

My eyes stared at her back, which was partly naked. She wore a shirt in which she had been cutting with scissors or something, it looked pretty cool. She wore some a fishnet pantyhose and a sort, red and black checkered skirt with some doctor Martins underneath it all.

She looked so hot… fuck.

Cassie turned around and gave me a glass with… well something inside of it.

'What is it?' I asked her, but she just shrugged her shoulders and gave me a playful wink.

What the fuck ever. I drank the glass empty in one sip. Cassie laughed at me.

She gave me another one. And one after that one and after that one. And so one.

We danced. We laughed. We spilled drinks all over the place. Cassie screamed for fun.

I took her hand.

'Let's go somewhere else,' I whispered in her ear. The people around us were looking funny, they were minding our presence. I didn't feel like fighting tonight.

'Let's go!' the small girl yelled and grabbed my hand. We ran out of the bar.

We were running around the streets, which had gotten a bit emptier. Cassie jumped on benched and little brick walls. I grabbed her waist and pulled her down, and then I took her hand and started dancing. Cassie smiled.

'Would you like to get some more shit?' she asked me. 'Some other kind of shit.'

I stayed silent and tried to think, which seemed to be rather hard at that moment.

'Why not.'

'I know you were against it last time,' Cassie whispered with her head against my chest.

'What last time?' my voice was emotionless once again.

'You don't remember at all?' her voice sounded so soft as if she could cry any minute.

'No.'

She looked up at me with her beautiful big eyes.

'I'll have you remember,' she promised as she took my hand and locked her fingers with mine. 'Let's go.'

I nodded.

Together we walked around the town in the middle of the night, with only the shadows and the stars as our guides. Silence was our companion.

I didn't know where we were going and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know either. Cassie was going to get… something which had been my enemy for years. Which had been my biggest fear.

It was time to face it. End it for once and for all.

Cassie stopped walking and pulled her hand out of mine. One smile, then she walked away. Into the dark. I hoped she'd come back.

Tears formed in my eyes. What was I doing? I wasn't ready for this at all! I couldn't do this. Could I?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I hear her footsteps.

'Fuck,' I whispered out loud. 'Fuck…'

Cassie stopped in front of me. Her smile made me feel saver somehow. How did she do that?

With her right hand she took mine, in her other hand she held some small bags and some joints.

'Ready?' she asked me without a smile. I took a deep breath. I nodded.

'Let's start a bit easier,' she said softly as she gave me one of the joints and took the other one for herself. Cassie lighted them.

The first draft was the hardest one for me, but with every draft after that one it became easier.

In the meantime Cassie and I started walking again. We were on a bridge, no people were around us.

We kept silent. I wanted it to be silent. I needed it to be silent.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck…

I threw the unusable part away, just like Cassie did.

'I've got pills as well,' she whispered in my ear and showed me the little plastic bag in her hand.

My hands were shaking, I wanted to choke at that very instant.

'It's your choice, babe,' Cassie whispered and I looked in her eyes. I was scared. I was frightened. I was feeling sick.

Cassie bended towards me and placed a kiss on my cheek. 'Your choice…'

I stuck out my hand.

* * *

We were dancing. We were laughing. We were screaming. Drinking. Singing. Yelling.

I cried. Cassie held me. I cried. We laughed again. I took her in my arms and danced with her body close against mine. We got up on the stage of the bar in which we were.

We sung. I played guitar. Cassie played piano. In the middle of the song Cassie started laughing.

I cried again.

We got kicked out. I hit someone on the way out. Cassie kicked a table over. We ran away laughing.

'My house,' her voice sounded. It was as if the wind had screamed it in my ear.

Our hands kept in touch.

Everything around me was turning and waving, moving, jumping. Colors became brighter and faded.

Except for Cassie. She was the only thing that stayed the way it was.

She opened the door of some flat. She pushed me up the stairs. Cassie opened the door.

My legs felt a bit funny.

'Come on…'

Everything around me faded. Everything went black, except for the small girl I was with.

I fell on something soft.

Cassie got on top of me. She laughed and smiled at me. Cassie shined, she glowed.

My sight got normal again. Our eyes locked.

'Who are you?' I asked her, but my voice just sounded funny in my ears. I laughed again.

Cassie smiled, came closer and she kissed me.

Her lips were soft.

I kissed her back harder. My hands got wrapped around her tiny body, I flipped her around, so I was on top. Cassie pulled at my shirt, so I took it off as well as her own shirt.

Cassie's lips touched mine again and her tongue found mine. Her arms were wrapped around my waist. I took off her remaining clothes so she was lying in her underwear. I touched her back, her sides, her stomach, her legs. Cassie removed my pants. She removed my underwear.

Her soft, small hands touched me everywhere. My head was spinning.

I took off her underwear and made her feel the same as me, Cassie gasped at the touches, she moaned softly as I let one of my fingers run down her spine. She kissed my neck, bit my shoulder, licked my chest.

I kissed her lips again as I slowly got inside of her. Another gasp. She grabbed my hips and kissed me back again. I started to move, very slowly, very gentle. She started to moan.

My thrusts became faster. Cassie's moans became louder. My breath got louder. Her hips moved along with mine. Her hands ran down my back. Her feet were tangled with mine.

It felt like hours, like days. We didn't stop anymore. Not ever.

This was heaven.

* * *

**I hope you liked the chapter! **

**This is one of the last chapters for this story… I'm guessing there will be one or two more...**

**Tell me what you thought of it!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Some of you told me that my last chapter was really strange and that you didn't really understand it. **

**Well, it was kind of meant to be written in a strange way and it was supposed to be not understandable haha, since Rory and Cassie were both on drugs (; **

**Well, anyway I hope that makes sence, and well here comes the next chapter in which will be some more stuff explained!**

* * *

It felt as if my head was exploding.

Holy fucking shit. What did I do last night? I couldn't even remember where I was.

I opened my eyes and looked around. What the fuck?

I didn't recall this place, or how I got here? And why was I naked?!

Totally confused I got out of the bed and dressed myself, as I tried to ignore my headache.

On bare feet I walked out of the room and into a living room, which I didn't know either.

Or did I? Somehow it felt as if I had been here before, wherever here was.

'But darling, you are the only exception,' sung the sweetest voice I had ever heard in my life.

I walked towards the kitchen to find a small girl making breakfast for two people.

'Excuse me,' I asked, forgetting to feel uncomfortable because of my hangover. 'But where am I?'

The girl with the blonde hair swiped around on her feet. Her smile seemed familiar.

'You're in my apartment, silly,' she smiled at me. 'We spend the night together.'

And at that exact moment the whole room started turning, oh shit…

I ran towards the sink, luckily I made it just in time before the whole content of my stomach came out of my mouth.

The girl softly rubbed my back.

'Easy now,' she said when I was finished puking. 'Just sit down.' She led me to one of the kitchen chairs and placed me on it.

'Sorry,' I puffed. 'I can't remember anything and I feel like a sack of potatoes at the moment.'

Her big eyes just stared at me.

'You seemed to have forgotten a lot these last days,' she sighed. 'My name is Cassie, remember? We met before yesterday once.'

I looked in her eyes as she smiled at me again. Nothing reminded me of the time she spoke off.

'I really don't know you,' I spoke and placed one of my hands against my forehead.

'You do,' this Cassie said to me with a small frown. 'We've met a year or two ago. You told me you had run away from your home in Ireland. So you came to New York.'

'What? I've never been in New York before! Wait… I'm in New York?' I asked surprised.

Cassie blinked a few times out of astonishment.

'Tell me, what do you remember?'

'That I had… a fight with my sister and a friend,' I told the girl. 'A pretty bad fight. And next thing I knew was that I was getting on a bus. Then I woke up here.'

'You're messed up,' Cassie said with a sad tone. 'I had hoped you'd remember me again after last night.'

'About that,' I asked. 'What did we do…?'

She gave me a look I had known for some years now. Shit. We had sex. Shit.

'Well… fuck,' I loudly said with an angry tone. 'How will I explain this to Sebastian then?!'

'Sebastian?' Cassie asked in surprise.

I nodded.

'Yeah, a boy I'm sort of with,' I said as I realized something else. 'Shit. I hit him fucking bad. Fucking bollocks!'

Cassie smiled at me.

'I knew you'd find someone to be with someday!' she laughed. ' I told you, but you wouldn't believe me.'

She was making my headache even worse.

'I don't remember you, okay? Fuck off with trying to act like I do!' I said angry.

'But you do!' she said just as angry. 'Just try! That time was just the same as this one, except for the drugs. You didn't want them back then. You were too afraid because of Evy.'

Drugs? I had taken drugs? I had despised drugs all my life, all because of Evy...

I placed my head on the kitchen table and closed my eyes.

'You were with us for over a month. I met you in the same café that we were in yesterday, you were singing and I just loved you voice, so I asked if you wanted to sing with me sometime, together.'

Inside of my head I saw the pub from yesterday evening. Then the sight changed, it became older.

I saw Cassie sitting in front of me, smiling as I sung.

'We had talked all night, and you told me you were homeless, so I took you to the house where I was staying with my friends. You lived with us for a month, remember? We were always together then.'

I looked up at her eyes, in which tears had formed.

'You were my best friend back then,' she cried as the tears started streaming down her face. 'Until the police found you and dragged you away from me. They send you home.'

My head felt as if someone was shooting bullets at it.

_Why did I decide to go to New York? Now, all my money was gone. _

_Well, at least I was away from my dad and Evy. She's the fucking idiot of the family anyway._

_I wipe away the tears from my cheeks as I walk down the street. It is night already and with just a few bucks left I decide that getting something to eat isn't a bad idea._

_I walk into a café that looks rather cozy. Hopefully they serve food here, I think._

_There is a band playing inside of the building. I walk up to the bar._

'_Can I get something to eat here?' I ask the man behind the bar. He looks at me with strange eyes._

'_Yeah, you can,' he says with a smile. 'But you have to perform first.'_

'_What? That's a dumb rule,' I say. 'I've got money if that's what you think…'_

'_No really, the owner only has food for the people that perform, so you should do that first,' the man behind the bar says. 'I'm sorry, but I can't afford to lose my job by giving you some food. Other people will ask for food as well if I'd do that.'_

'_Sure, I'll sing something,' I say annoyed. What a stupid crap. I just wanted food._

_As soon as the band finished it was my turn. I know I can sing, so I am not very nervous. I sing Home from Michael Bublé, since I really like that song. I notice that one girl is looking at me the whole time, a little blond girl. She looks very nice._

_As I am done with singing and I get of stage, she walks up to me. _

'_You're amazing!' she says, making me blush. 'Will you sing with me once? Please?'_

I looked up at Cassie again, my eyes staring into hers.

'I remember meeting you,' I said in surprise. 'I do! I remember you!'

Her smile shines.

'Think! Remember more!'

_The policemen have a firm grip around my upper arms. Fuck! _

'_Rory!' Cassie screams with tears streaming down her eyes. 'Rory! Fight them! Don't leave me alone!'_

_I try so hard to get them to let go of me, but the man are too strong for me._

'_I'll come back for you!' I scream towards my best friend. 'Don't forget me! I won't forget you either!'_

'_Please…' Is the last thing I hear Cassie whispered before they put me in the car._

'Cassie,' I asked the girl in front of me. 'Why don't I remember you? I said I wouldn't.'

The blonde in front of me nodded.

'I don't know why,' she said with tears in her eyes. 'You just forgot about me.'

I stood up from my seat and walked up to her. My arms wrapped themselves around her tiny body and I pulled her close against me.

'I'm so sorry,' I whisper in her ear.

'Rory,' Cassie said with a soft voice. 'Promise me, you will stop playing games with people and their feelings. For once and for all.'

A frown formed on my face.

'Did I… do that while I was here?' I asked confused as I stroke her hair.

'Yeah… with girls and boys, every day you played against someone else again. You won every time,' she whispered with her lips against my chest. 'You've hurt lots of people with that.'

I didn't know what to say.

'Why do you play these games?' Cassie asked me and pushed herself off of me. 'I mean… last night was just for fun, and I made the first move but…'

I hadn't told her no. I should have told her no, because I was in love with someone else.

'I hurt you when I talked about Sebastian, right?'

My voice was once again emotionless, no feeling was to be heard in my voice. I had put my wall up once again.

The blonde girl nodded, with a face filled with hurt and sadness.

'Not only me, you hurt Sebastian as well,' she then whispered and looked straight into my eyes.

Her words hit me like lighting had stuck.

'I play games because…,' I said, trying to explain it. 'Because with games, I won't feel something real. Everything I do when I play is without emotions, or they're fake. It's as if I feel better when other people got hurt, instead of me for once.'

A tear rolled down my cheek as I realized that out of all the people I had hurt, I had hurt myself the most. In the end it was still me who had the most pain.

* * *

We were walking towards the bus station. Our hands held onto each other.

'Are you sure you don't want to come with me?' I ask her with a sad tone. 'I really, really would love you to come with me, you know.'

Cassie smiled her biggest smile at me once more.

'No, I have my own stuff I'm supposed to be doing around here,' she said. 'But I promise that I'll come visit you and meet this wonderful Sebastian!'

I smiled back at her. We had arrived at the bus station and with only a few minutes left I thought of two last questions I had to ask her.

'Cassie, why did I come to New York a year ago?' I asked her without looking at her face. 'I mean, why New York?'

The girl laughed.

'I asked you the same question the first night I met you,' she smiles. 'But you didn't have an answer for me then. You said that you just got on the first plane you could catch.'

That really did sound like me…

'And why did I come back this time?' I ask her confused. My bus arrived and I saw people getting in it already. 'Shit… I have to go.'

'I guess you just took the first bus you could catch,' Cassie said with a wink. She gave me a firm hug.

'I'll miss you,' she whispered in my ear. 'And if you forget about me again, I swear to god that I'll smack you so hard you will never remember anything anymore.'

'That's a deal,' I smiled as I let go of her. 'I'll see you again, someday.'

As I got in the bus I heard Cassie whisper: 'Yeah, someday.'

* * *

**I hoped this one helped your confusion.**

**Let me know what you thought of it! **


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